Style defeats substance?

Is is possible for looks to beat out personality? It's an age-old question on this Xanga and most admit that the exterior plays a major role in determining our impression of someone. However, I'm always frustrated about the hypocrisy that goes on when it comes to this paradigm. We can all say that the chase is sometimes more enjoyable than the prize...an excuse that we all use to justify break-ups. However, it's never the stated reason for someone to get into a relationship haphazardly...it's quite sad for guys to confuse infatuation with love. So, this is why I hate most Asian-oriented sites, because the raunchiness is almost always hidden right beneath the surface, which fools people into thinking we're all so luvvy-duvvy.

I think we're suffering from a case of desexualization, which is obviously a reaction to the oversexualization of gay men more commonly found on other profile websites. Granted, there are folks out there who are genuinely asexual...meaning that they can suppress their libidos like nuns. However, it's understandable to see a large portion of the population who's all out for sex...a fact of life on the world wide web. It's a combination of isolation, frustration, and unluckiness...a triumvirate of bad setups for desparate sex. This situation is perhaps even worse than oversexualization or hypersexualization of Asians and Pacific Islanders...as we all know repression and suppression of sexuality has far worse long term consequences than a person who's out there banging a light socket. Furthermore, it's much more harmful, because we're not able to see it right away...leaving many folks to turn to self-destructive behaviors to compensate for their lack of transparency.

Of course, we're always combatting the moral superiority that some folks have with anonymous sex. However, it's the whole skank-like attitude that some guys have...secretly craving hot, heavy sex, while chastising others for seeking the same. It's that brand of hypocrisy that I detest, particularly on a website, such as Downelink. Beyond all the pretty pictures and flashy page details, I'm sure 90% of the guys on there are willing to score it with the guys of their choosing. However, they then go backstab the rest of the community by declaring their sainthood. Gee, let me clarify things...if you're showing your titties or your any skin beyond your face, I don't think you get the privilege of declaring yourself skank-free.

Going back to style and substance...if we're truthful about the inescapably horny nature of the male libido, then is it truly substance over style? I won't be cynical and deprive you of the moral high ground, but let's just consider the possibility that sometimes guys aren't all motivated to enter into long term contracts for one night of cheap fun. Maybe it's a lesson for folks who might be too quick to declare true love...and that sex is just as sex...nothing more, nothing less. Sighh..

Peeking pics

Wow, I always get a surge of responses about the zine after I provide an update. Of course, the hard part is actually getting folks to submit something. I'm somewhat harsh when it comes to the grammar portion during the proofreading process, but you guys have probably seen enough typos on my entires every other day. For the uncertain or uncomfortable, there will be more opportunities to submit pieces if you can't pull in before the tentative deadline. If you didn't notice from the cover during the sneak preview, it's titled as "Issue 1", which means that there (hopefully) will be future installments of a+ Magazine. Of course, I'm always look for new inspiration for a cover...the current one is rather self-indulgent, but it's all about working with what you got. If you happen to consider yourself a pretty (not hot) face, then send a pic to me...you might see yourself on the next cover. Cool!

Top five ways to change your looks (non-shallow version)

Some folks might remember an older top five list, where I discussed five easy way to look good. Well, this top five list is slightly different as it involves elements related to body image as opposed to the previous list, which focused on persona and attitude. Consider this list if you're looking to make some serious changes to your outlook on life..

5.) Do your chores: Beyond satisfying the whims of your parents or roommates, routine chores make for a good workout, regardless of foci on reps or weights. If you're also the tightwad to not pay for a gym membership, then why not just indulge in some hard work in the backyard or some strenuous dust busting? Okay, you're not building up muscles...it's all about creating the stamina to survive long bouts of cleaning...something that guys should find attractive, particularly as a way to demonstrate cleanliness. Squeaky clean!

4.) Kitchen diva: Okay, you might remember from the old list about eating meat...now I'm recommending that folks take up the cooking for themselves. I believe that 80% of getting slimmer, leaner, or bulkier is due to good nutrition. If you want to look and feel good, you got to take control of the junk you're eating. What better way to do that than to make your meals? Of course, we would like to do that, but we know that sometimes we just don't have the time for it. Just remember that no one said the food has to be fresh out of the pasta machine...you just have to know what goes into it.

3.) Form-fitting: One of the big pet peeves that I have about the metrosexual movement has the infusion of clothing that defies logic...body logic anyways. It's true that some folks can benefit from tightness in the buttocks or slimming in the chest area, but sometimes it's not always about clothing that defines the shape of your body. Beyond the flashy patterns and high-tech fabrics, comfort sometimes should be the priority when choosing a piece of clothing. By that, I mean clothing that makes you feel and look comfortable, especially when it comes to tense social settings. You can't feel sexy when you got something that's cutting off circulation to your extremities and causing some major perspiration in the nether regions. Drop the lycra!

2.) Perfect 10: This might be a bias of mine, but swimmers are hot! Even though we might giggle at the boy with the whale-like body, the swimming-challenged can kiss your ass when they're drowning on the shallow end of the pool. Seriously though, there's nothing more physically exerting than swimming. It's all for the glory of building up stamina and swimming's the best that you can get. It's almost the one sport that forces you to look at your own body...not to mention having every other swimmer doing the same to you. Okay, I'm not providing you with an opportunity to declare that you have a "swimmer's build", but at least we know you'll be popular on your next Titanic-esque date.

1.) Spank the monkey: Heh, what list of mine would be complete without something on sex? The best way to change your looks is, of course, masturbation. Haven't you noticed that sexually frustrated people not only suffer from lack of sleep, but they also seem to be crabby as hell? The best way to look your best and feel your best is making sure you get your periodic sexual release. Unless you're the type to become addicted to jerking off, a healthy dose of solo pleasure might be what you need to get that heart pumping. I won't bore you with the hormones and chemicals that your brain releases during an orgasm, but let's just say that it can do you some good to experience once in a while. : : twap : :   : : twap : :   : : twap : :

Zine project update

Okay, folks might remember from yesterday that I mentioned some stuff about the summer zine project. I actually came up with a name and vision already, but I haven't come up with a final list of submissions. I already received a couple, but it's always hard to find the right combination of pieces that compliment each other. Anyways, here's a preview of the cover..

If you're interested in joining the publication, message me with a notice of your interest in participating. Yes, that is the hard part...just clicking that iddy biddy little button over there to message me. Oh yeah, be sure to leave me some information to who you are...it's a pain to pull a Sherlock Holmes all the time.

Midsummer report

Monochromatic television

I happened to turn on the televison today and all the local stations were covering the Democratic National Convention. Heh, no big surprise there...it's practically taken over the entire city. Of course, I noticed that the various camera shots tried to capture as many of the different attendees as possible. On one station, they did a commercial spotlighting all the educational institutions with a montage of student representatives, including several Asians and Pacific Islanders. I have to admit...Mayor Menino did a pretty good job in advocating for the city, especially since Boston is the most representative of historical (yet segregated) diversity among the local communities.

As for the convention, I actually know some folks who are attending...they also happen to be Asian. You would imagine that these types of events would be totally packed with snooty upper-middle class white folks, but I was adequately surprised to hear that there will be a splash of yellow and brown to go with that drabby monochromatic sea of people. Unfortunately, I haven't heard much about any Asian or Pacific Islander representation on the political level, especially among the few house representatives and senators from our community. Of course, I did hear a rumor that Margaret Cho was planning to attend, but she couldn't get clearance for a press pass...maybe that means she's still in the city, right? Heh..

After attending the Boston Social Forum, I've discovered that attending socialist and green party folks aren't too happy with Democrats. I'll declare my party affiliation right now and stay that I'm a stalwart Democrat. However, the green party folks that I met at the conference had attempted to share their points of view about my party, in an attempt to appeal to my sense of social justice over their current hardships in securing more support for their causes. Bleh, here's a tip: you can't convince something to join your cause when the first thing you do is to squash, demean, and belittle your audience's beliefs.

On a lighter (yet stinky) note, I also discovered that socialist, anarchist, and green party folks have several commonalities to each other. The first being that a majority of them are WASP-y hippies who probably experience few or no prejudices beyond their party affiliation. Second, I've noticed that a good number of them also don't believe in financially supporting the personal hygiene corporations...namely tampons and deodorants. Heh...I'll leave you to figure out how I came to that conclusion.

Shallow end of the pool

Looks count...at least it's what we're all thinking in our minds, but it's not something we're all willing to admit. Of course, let's not say that silly things, such as personality and intelligence, isn't important...they just seem to be secondary in nearly every aspect of human interaction, including the Internet. Remember the whole deal with sexual types? Skanks would be a good term to borrow for this whole discussion on the understated prioritization of physical appearance...a skank would be one of the folks who say that looks don't matter, but secretly or subconsciously pick guys based on physicality. Hmm..

Now, don't get me wrong...there can be folks who say, "Looks don't matter," but they can actually mean it. However, it should be changed to, "I find many different (or all) types attractive." Heh...I'm not saying that this type of statement would be reflective of the slut or whore sexual types...even though it probably can fit into it.

Of course, it's the denial aspect that pisses me off sometimes. Unfortunately, the flip side of this whole thing about being shallow is that it serves to justify many types of biases that folks might have...seeing where I'm going with this? I think haters often use this justification of "personal preferences" to systemtically rule out all guys that don't fit into their desired type. I guess folks just have to be conscious of their biases and that a physical type is only a set of stereotypes...it is often inflexible during youthfulness, turns dated as time goes on, and becomes increasingly more flexible for the aging single folks.

So, I don't know if the karma is that Asian-haters will eventually become lonely and old and then transform into rice queens...I think they call their "awakening" to the beauty of Asian and Pacific Islander men. Heh...I swear it must be some dormant gene in gay men that switches on like PMS. 

Oh great, they hate us and then they love us...don't we have such rotten luck.

Anti-white for a day

There were two instances today where I thought being anti-white can be justified:

1.) Cuba: I was at the Boston Social Forum to attend a panel discussion featuring Danny Glover. Before the discussion started, a white guy happened to walk into the area where I sat. He had this smirk on his face as if he was ready to go cruising. He waved to a man sitting behind me, who I saw before I took my seat. The white guy approached the man behind me and said, "Oh, I was just waving to you, because you looked like a friend of mine. But that can't be, I just don't have my glasses on and I'm near-sighted". Besides being totally lame, he has attempting to striking a conversation with the man.

The white guy asked the man where he came from. Mistakenly, the man said, "I'm from Cuba." Suprised, the white guy said, "Oh, I can't believe you speak English so well." Of course, we had knew that the man meant he was born in Cuba and that he's currently living in Boston. The man responds to that comment by saying, "Well, I've been living in the United States for thirteen years now." Gee, where do people get the assumption that all non-citizens can't speak English? I think it's more atrocious when people from the US goes to a foreign country and can't even speak the country's language.

2.) Mallbrats: More alarming, I was accosted by a bratty 12yo white girl who came up and mockingly yelped, "Yo, dog, wazzup?" She was laughing and looking at her friend, thinking that she's somehow acting cool by making fun of non-white people. I responded by saying, "Do you need to act like a snotty bitch? There's something called manners and you obviously don't have any." I think I would have risked a charge of battery if it meant that I could scare that girl into knowing racist attitudes like hers has consequences...namely getting her face beat in if she wasn't out in the suburbs.

At what age do we start to say racist hooliganism is not tolerable? I'm beginning to think that it's inexcusable at any age. By allowing her to get away with it, it only reinforces her beliefs that she can treat non-white people disrespectfully. You might be thinking that I should just let kids be kids, but don't forget that many adolescents take their behaviors and habits into adulthood. Let's pray for her soul that she doesn't become the victim of her own medicine someday.

Celebrate the chub!

Finally! It's time to talk about the non-skinny side of the body spectrum. Even though we might have the negative connotations in how we describe the big-boned, there is still a vibrant community of fetishists who enjoy some beef to go with their man-meat. You can call them, fat, overweight, or obese, but there's some folks out there who say, "Just more of you to love." Cheesy or hot? Well, time for you to decide..

1.) Sumo: Okay, this is probably the only image that Westerners have of big Asians. These athletes are more than just gluttons with an appetite for rough touching...it's actually some hard work to have that physique and be physically-threatening. However, we also seem to snicker when we see an extremely big Asian, because we're mentally, culturally, and socially engrained to stereotype all Asians as wiry, hungry Third Worlders. I can't say I understand the fetishism behind chubby chasing, but I can appreciate that there is beauty with such big body parts. Of course, we need to invent a new word to describe the smooth ones, because they don't exactly fit among the criteria to be called bears. Hmm..

2.) Hair today: On the other side of the discussion, yes, Asians and Pacific Islanders can be hairy. The wonderful dream of rice queens about our smoothness has gone horribly wrong when they peek under the shirt only to find tons of chest hair, hairy nipples, and a treasure trail. Of course, you might find it strangely erotic to find Asians with some gusto, but let's just say that some are blessed with the gift of follicular bliss. Hey...I'll leave it to you to determine whether smoothness or hairiness is bliss.

3.) Size 0 waist no more: Somehow we separate "skinny" from "fat" by looking at our waist line. If you exceed 34", society has an awful way of already labeling you as husky. Of course, let's not forget that there's a big niche market in clothing for the 34"+ waist line...us tiny waist people need to scrounge high and low to find those pairs of pants. Culturally, let's also not forget that Asian and Pacific Islander communities often look at a plump gut as a sign of fortune and wealth, hence the Buddha belly impersonation. Rub me for good luck!

4.) Mirror madness: This one extends to individuals of all wideness. We sometimes look in the mirror and also wonder if it can somehow look a little better. Our contemporary obsessions with muscular segmentations (a.k.a. abs) has lead many chubby folks to slim down in an attempt to expose the rippling eight-pack hiding just beneath the surface of celluloid and skin. If our society wasn't so fixated on this rather useless body feature, then how would we define attractiveness when it comes to the stomach area? Heh...the answer is simple: SUMO!

Detour (formerly Celebrate the chub!)

Despite today's proposed ode to chubs, I guess there's been a sidetrack from the cheap tricks entry today. Even though I intended to write about easy ways to make yourself feel better about your body, I had to respond to what Victor wrote about, especially since he made such a concerted effort in expounding on Asian male nudity. I won't make an exhaustive discussion out of it, because I think Victor's definitely on the mark on many things on objectification of Asian beauty and exploitative fetishism of Asians and Pacific Islanders.

I did want to point out that, contrary to Victor's assertion, Asian male nudity isn't scarce as a result of higher standards nor moral superiority. Even though some folks might not have the desire nor comfort in showing off the dongle, I don't see it as being an issue of morals or self-restraint. If anything, I attribute it to a personal choice being made by the individual to not show the private parts. By insinuating that those who do the opposite of the "morally superior", I can only say that it sets up a double standard on what comfortability and body image is all about. Each individual is entitled to do what he see fits with his own body, whether it be to cover it up or expose it all.

It does dismay me not to see many dongles of Asian guys, but especially among those with what we've dubbed "realistically-achievable physiques". Even though one can dismiss it as an act of moral terpitude, we have to remind ourselves that comfortable expression of our bodies (while not necessarily viewed as "tasteful" to everyone)  is an important part of positive body image. If language is power and our bodies are our instruments, then I would say baring our bodies in our own light and expressed the way we want is equally as powerful. Moreover, I believe this is the way to stop fetishism...to prevent exploiters from defining our image and portray ourselves as the sexual beings that we see in our minds.

In this society, our "bonsai ass" is what symbolizes us as sexual playthings. Of course, let's not also forget our "sashimi-smooth" bodies, another symbol of our supposed beauty. If breaking stereotypes with the Full Monty is to accomplish anything, it's about proving to our haters that we can grow body hair and that we're not anatomically built like a Ken doll. However, I'm mindful about what Victor is saying too...there's also benefits to leaving some things to the imagination...a way to ensure that we're more than just assholes and dickheads...neither areas of which fetish freaks should be acquainted with if they can't appreciate our bodies for more than their utilitarian and not-so utilitarian uses.

Celebrate the waif!

Per Albert's request, I'm going to move away from posting pictures of buff boys for a while. Heh, it's definitely sobering to start viewing guys with real physiques as opposed to the gym-manufactured ones. However, you're probably scratching your head, because contemporary Asian fetish porn will dictate that the skinnier the better...a la Euro-trash model stylings. Yeah, it's quite confusing about what is considered "attractive" nowadays as we clearly see more Asian and Pacific Islander guys hitting the weight rooms to bulk up for man-meat season (24 - 7 - 365).

So, how does a waif stay attractive in this muscle-craving society of ours? Heh, how about the chubby boys who also want some loving? I think it goes back to the whole idea of positive body image...something that we seem to brush over since it's usually viewed so superficially. Incorrectly, many think that developing a positive body image requires that we work out to make ourselves more buff or to lose those love handles. Heh, it's sadly a misinterpretation as a positive body image can involve no exercising at all. Hey, don't get me wrong, there are benefits to getting in shape, provided that you don't end up chugging down steroids or laxatives..

Of course, the keyword for this transformative process should be self-acceptance...that evasive concept that you all hate to hear from your therapist. I guess this term is hard to integrate as we are constantly exposed to messages about losing weight, gaining weight, etc. I won't get sappy on you and tell you to just accept yourself for who you are...that'd be a cheap way to dismiss folks' emotions. Instead, I'd recommend that folks just talk about it...in a positive manner.

Furthemore, it's not exactly a process of changing yourself, but at the same time it's not entirely improving yourself either. The first connotes that you don't like your current self and that you need to reinvent yourself into a totally different form to be happy. The latter isn't any better, because it seems to imply that what was there previously wasn't good enough. Certainly, it takes from both columns in order to develop a positive body image, but I feel folks should have an understanding that the interior has to match the exterior...which is what body image is all about. The feeling of happiness and satisfaction of your outward appearance is what drives body image.

Gee, can I get any more sappy and Dr. Phil-ish? Heh, if you're up for quick fixes, check back tomorrow for cheap tricks to make yourself feel better.

Men are silly..

There's nothing more fun than seeing more racist crap on some of my favorite websites. I normally don't respond to some the threads that I see on Dudesnude, but I can't resist the ones that involve the topic of race. Gee, big surprise? Anyways, an Asian guy started the thread and it didn't really get any responses until a few days ago. About a year ago, a black Dudesnude member actually started this really cool thread about racial preferences and it had a very positive impact on the Dudesnude community. I guess we'll just have to see how this one goes. Here are some excerpts from the thread, including a response that I posted:

Here's my response:

Web-tastic realization

Okay, I really do need to build myself a website. Regardless of how good my resume looks, I think I'm going to be at a disadvantage if I can't show them my other skills. Even though I don't have any formal training with computers, I think I am somewhat competent with both hardware and software installation. Gee, it's not that hard in the first place, but let me tell you...the world still has tons of computer-illiterate people out there. Of course, I think my most recent skills acquisition in regards to fixing computers has been extremely helpful. After having two busted computers, I finally got fed up with having to depend on other folks to fix them. Instead, I just got my electric screwdriver and open up the dang metal case. You know what? It's actually pretty easy once you get over the whole idea of computer chips and processors.

As for the website, I think I'm going to take advantage of Sion's unexpected gift and put it to good use. Seeing as how Sion has his own site, Elerium Design, I think it's good to reflect the professionalism and class that he has (even though I'm the "take the girl out of Hicksville, but can't take the Hicksville out of the girl" type of person). I'll just leave an easter egg on the page for you guys to find the Xanga FAQ archives. Heh, it can be fun and professional, but in order to accomplish that, I"ll have to invest more time into it. (Ahemm..that isn't really an option right now.)

Of course, the space will also be a great opportunity to publish that summer zine project. Sadly, I've slacked a bit on getting back to people about their submissions, including a mystery person who sent me a story a few weeks back. However, I have to say that the best example that I can point out would be Albert's and John's writings. They do very well with storytelling and reflective styles of writing, which is what I'm going for. Check them out for some inspiration if you don't have a solid style yet. Again, bug me again with your pieces...it's going to happen either way, so don't leave yourself out.

Mis-something's

Gwahaha, who doesn't like it when things aren't seen eye to eye? Not only is it a silly premise for people to get into arguments and become mistrustful of each other, but it's also the most effective way to inject drama into your life. As for confusing people the gay and Asian way, I'd recommend that folks learn to keep their stories straight online. Heh...you know what I mean...particularly those funky profiles you're setting up. Of course, we're all capable to maintaining frequent bouts of dissociative disorder (multiple personalities), but let's not forget to keep the facts as facts, heh..

1.) Size matters: Heh, read it again...it's not size matters...matters as in the noun. Okay, we've all confronted the size myth and you've read my whole discussion about proportionality. Well, let's just say that guys have a certain tendency to forget one of our standards of reality...it's called measurements. I've noticed this especially among guys who enjoy creating profiles on websites. For example, we got the guys saying that they're hung like a horse on one website, but they're somehow shrunk when they get to a different site. Hmm...no need to get embarassed about your size...it's just crappy when you come up short...so don't ever lower my expectation, okay?

2.) Decapitated, part two: Yeah, we've talked about headless pics already. For the most part, it's unacceptable to do those, because they're just plain awful. We could insert an exception to this rule...with the nudity factor. Heh, isn't it a buzz kill to see a well-built body with a good set of everything, but then only to see no head.. Wha?? Of course, we know you need to maintain your discretion by carefully cropping those pictures, but hey, you got to say that seeing your peepee and not your face isn't too pleasant, especially when you find out the guy's missing most of his teeth and sporting an awful comb-over. Meh, I'll call this one mis-interpretation.

3.) Show me your teeth: Smile, you're on candid digital camera! Isn't it more endearing to find a cute smile on a guy than those rather creepy smirks and scowls? It's definitely an improvement over headless pictures, but why make yourself out to be the Friday night grump? Of course, I can understand the guys who might fear reprisal from guys who are biased against the dentally-challenged, but it can't hurt that much to crack a smile once in a blue moon. Oh yeah, braces are majorly cute in my book...let's just wait a few months (or years) until we get to oral sex. Gwahaha..

4.) Caliente: We've been struggling witht this whole concept of "hot" for decades now. I'm still somewhat perplexed by how guys like to describe themselves as hot...gee, ever heard of humility? Heh, what's even worse, of course, is when their profile says, "I'm hot (at least my friends say so)." Gee, let's just say that being hot is something that you know...but you don't tell people. Despite what some folks might think, you're not hot just because you say are (take that Chelsea guys!). "Hot" is a gossip word...not a word to describe yourself, unless you're talking about sweating it out in the summer sun. Muy caliente..

Three misconceptions

I remember writing about misconceptions and reputations a long time ago on Yellowworld. You know how there's always some things that folks might think about you and they somehow warp from misconception to truth in two shakes of a lamb's tail (hackneyed). For the most part, I think folks on Xanga will get the misconceptions based on what I write about...which sometimes can be more funt han annoying. Don't forget that the good side of misconceptions is surprising folks when you do or say something that totally destroys their ideas about you. Gwahaha, maybe it's not as fun as it sounds, but when you're me, you know it's got to be a laugh and a half. Heh..

1.) Potato-hater: If you read enough of my writing, you're probably convinced that I absolutely hate white people. True or false? FALSE. No, I'm not some disillusioned ex-potato queen who's out to get white people. I think this misconception probably just comes out of the fact that folks think that I believe everything is about race...actually no, everything's not about race. Heh, everything's actually about class and socioeconomics. Of course, white people, in this country, are almost often the have's and rarely the have not's...so they happen to take the brunt of my writing most of the time. I guess I'll have to become a slightly more equal opportunity offender.

2.) Potato-lover: Wha?? As much as people think that I hate white people, there's an equal amount of folks (unfamiliar acquaintances) who think that I'm only into white guys. Gee, as I said, race isn't really the sole trait that I take into account...that'd make me a racist, heh.. In any case, most folks think that I'm attracted to white people, because I'm always drawing them into my personal space like ants to a picnic. Also, many folks will assume that I'm whitewashed (based on my verbosity) and therefore think white is the only thing on my palette. I only got three letters for that: L-O-L.

3.) Dead body: Heh, this one's the secret one. Everyone silently thinks about this one in their mind, but none would like to say it out loud. Of course, if they were like me, there would be no problem in spreading the rumor that I'm the submissive end of a gang bang train. Despite what you might think, no, I'm not the type to sit idly by and have sex happen like a gynecologist tweaking the sterile forceps. If you remember the posting about sexual types, I'm the more active individual who's out there and setting up the action rather than doing my imitation of dead fish. Pheww...glad to dispel that one.

Zap the West

If there's no better reason to hate the United States, it's probably the fact that our nation's government is the most hypocritical defenders of freedom. I saw on my favorite news program, Greater Boston, about the death of a journalist in Russia, who was gunned down in the streets by the Russian tycoons. A similarly corrupt government, Russia's bows down to the power of the wealthy...a fact that their President is all too clear of. Despite the large press coverage, there doesn't seem to be any resolution on the part of the Russian law enforcement nor government. One of the panelists on Greater Boston felt that it would be totally appropriate for President Bush to do more than nudge Russia's President Putin about upholding freedom of the independent press and stopping the corrupt aristocracy/oligarchy of the rich.

Sometimes the hypocrisy about United States' ideals about freedom permeates into our supposed thoughts of other things we describe as liberties. For example, the whole resurgence of the gay marriage issue has been another example of why our government shirks its duty when defending the rights of its citizens. Just as Russia's journalists are second class citizens, gay people here are treated worse than enfeebled individuals. However, don't get me wrong...there are many things in this country that I can't live without. Unfortunately, this wonderful homeland of mine is probably the best when it comes to social attitudes towards who I am...I wouldn't dare say that life elsewhere can be as good (well, maybe if I could become a socialist).

Tangentially, I was thinking about how hot Hong Kongnese guys were. Maybe it's the whole Westernized appeal...ughh, I think my internalized nationalism is trying to claw its way out. Something's telling me that I should probably take a spiritual journey across Asia, especially if it means that I can avoid paying back my student loans, heh.. I wonder if they can track me when I'm walking up and down the Great Wall of China.

Anyways, the guys...yeah, I think it's the fact that some Hong Kongnese folks resemble Americans so much that it's somewhat more comfortable to me. Eww...am I being xenophobic? Oh well...I do have to say I need to be around more Asian and Pacific Islander guys...that brief stint in Manhattan has left me craving more. If all else fails, I'll just start up that porn site and set up auditions. Next!

Oversexualization?

Well here was a question that I got today:

Darian: "do you talk about anthing else? besides? sex.. gay porn? porn? sex business? sex related? topics? hehe."

Well Darian...no, I only want to talk about sex and raunchiness, because there's simply nothing more satisfying that politicizing sex. Heh, it's much better than moaning and groaning about my self-deficiencies. Besides, I'm not much for self-depricating humor...I think I have too much an ego to do that.

Moving along, my secret project this week has been transferring some of my writing over to Dynamiqvision. Sion's been so gracious to let me set up shop, so it's good to make my stuff nice and swanky for everything. Of course, I'm neither a graphic designer nor site developer, so I'll keep everything rather low-tech. Gee, I must be the black sheep of the bunch.

If you know my reign on other websites, then you'll know that I've lately become very popular. Heh, it's not a coincidence, but I guess some self-adulation isn't too bad...particularly since I'm being so half-ass secretive about it. However, this all reminds me of something that I read off of a Downelink profile about how this person doesn't want to meet folks who hate their own bodies. Yeah, it's so true...there's a difference between improving yourself and changing yourself. Even then, a sense of self-worth is important for folks in order for them to realize that sexy is not an appearance...it's an attitude.

Anyways, I'm with this guy...what to wear..? Self-dignity, of course!

Liberation through porn?

The Porn Buying FAQ really got me thinking about the lack of good Asian porn out there. It's totally true that Asian porn (through white eyes) isn't too sexually appetizing for Asian audiences. It's almost like lesbian porn designed for straight men being watched by lesbians...I'm sure they're like, "We don't do that.." Although it's hot to see two Asian guys fucking like rabbits, it just seems so anti-septic when you watch the ones produced by Birlynn Studios or even AsianGuys.com. It would definitely be a huge market if there was a new generation of Asian porn being produced in the United States, particularly if we keep improving the public image of gay Asians and Pacific Islanders in the community and in popular media.

Of course, we know that these are products designed for white people...old white guys who want to see barely legal Asian boys playing with their uncircumcised penises and wincing like they're passing rough poop. I don't know why, but it's not appealing to me. Not only that, the current videos seem to only cast Asian guys of only body type and only one good sexual position. Heh...skinny bottoms with uncut dicks...and you wonder why non-Asian folks think we're all foreigners looking for sugar daddies. Despite that, I can't blame the Asian models who participate in those crappy videos, because they still get paid a sizeable sum that's significantly superior to other forms of income found in their native countries.

If I were to choose the new wave of Asian porn stars, I want them to be cast with Asian Americans, who have a wide range of body shapes...not just the waify ones that we've become accustomed to. I'm not saying that we need guys who look like Daniel Wu, but surely it can't hurt, heh.. Of course, guys with some body hair would also help shake things up a bit...treasure trails or hairy legs...at least it beats back hair more commonly found among bears in your chubby chaser movies. Heh, but don't save I'm ungrateful for the Van Darkholme's and Brandon Lee's out there...they're definitely still hot, but let's increase the pool of Asian and Pacific Islander guys for us to drool over, right?

If I was truly an entrepreneur, I guess I could start this porn company. It's the ultimate in community-driven activity: Asian porn made by Asian guys for Asians guys. I can't say if there's such a thing as liberation through pornography, but I think it's about time we got some porn that we can cum to. Maybe it's a crockpot dream (heh, stewing away until it's nice and yummy), but it's definitely not a crack pot's dream...it's do-able as long as we get more Asian and Pacific Islander guys who are willing to bear it all. Heh, I think I'll have to start giving lessons to guys about overcoming their repressed sexuality and internalized fear of their own bodies. If white guys can strut around naked in front of the camera, then I'm sure we can do the same...heh, we are the model minority, right? Ha!

Porn Buying FAQ

Inevitable, yet totally delicious, right? I know folks have been itching to know about the "swirl fuck", but why not see it for yourself? Heh, no...it's not a free peep show into my next sexual foray. As much as all of your horny folks would like to go out and buy some porn of your own, there are some considerations to review. In this FAQ, I guess I'll cover both porn purchased from your neighborhood porn store and through websites that also peddle the same merchandise.

Price

Yes, this is the main reason why most guys shouldn't buy porn. If you've never seen the actual price of videos, then your jaws will probably drop when you see the price tag of just one video. Of course, this is all due to the fact that the market is much smaller when compared to your mainstream cinema flicks...so they have to make up the profits by increasing the retail price of each video produced.

Now, you might be thinking that if they only increased their market of customers, then the prices of porn would go down. Good thinking, but cheap porn can also come from two avenues: 1.) a poorly produced porn that isn't worth its price tag or 2.) porn that's past its shelf life. If you want some porn, but don't want to pay the average $40 to $50, then you should consider buying videos that were produced nearly four or more years ago...by then, you're bound to run into some videos that's somewhat outdated, yet still recognizable. In any case, masturbating to porn shouldn't cost you an arm and a leg...heh, that's what boyfriends are for.

Flavor

Okay, the whole point of buying porn is to find something that you can get off to. Depending on what you like, you might find a studio that's producing the stuff that makes you all hot. Like you would with a director that produces films that you like to see in the theatres, you often can found a porn director that utilizes similar formulaic methods in casting actors and producing scenes for a porn. Popular titans in the porn industry can include dear ol' Chi Chi LaRue...or the infamous French-boy-loving Cadinot...or even George Duroy...the guy who brings you the Bel Ami boys. Don't dismiss the importance of directors, because they ulimately make the choices on matching the guys up and telling them to do it doggy-style or missionary. Gee, isn't that a dream job?

Another aspect about choosing what you like isn't necessarily related to the types of guys you like in real life. If porn is about fantasizing, then you can step outside of your own comfort zone and try something different. Therefore, you might be attracted to big burly musclemen (of Colt fame), but you might also find enjoyment from watching lean twinks boinking each other. Having a wide palette in themes might help you find a broad range of videos that fit your flavor and budget. I say this, because sticky rice queens might find it incredibly expensive to buy Asian porn videos...I think porn directors know that this is a niche market that's here to stay.

Variety

While there's a shelf life for porn at the store, there's always a shelf life back at your home. Yes, you can get bored of a porn video...GASP!! I expect that most guys can probably watch a porn about ten times before getting bored...that probably means about two months before you need to buy a new one. If you want the biggest bang for your buck (without having to hire a prostitute), then you should consider buying what we like to call compilations. Heh, this isn't your homemade compilations of bootlegged porn either...they have compilations that can be up to six hours of footage compiled from a bunch of different videos or genres. Since you probably will find scenes from older videos, the price of these compilations are most likely dirt cheap...great for folks who don't have to spend a large sum of money on masturbatory goods.

Privacy

Unlike moaning and groaning in the bedroom with a real body, masturbating to porn is probably a private affair that should be easy to conceal, yet also easy to conduct when needed. Therefore, you should consider several factors before amassing a large collection. First off, you should consider how you will store all your goods. We all know how much clutter VHS tapes can create, particularly if you don't have enough space (or safe space) to store them. This is why I feel DVD porn is one of the best changes for porn, because now they can be stored easily everywhere and be played in a large number of different devices, ranging from DVD players to even laptops. 

As for the VHS tapes, I think there's still the glorious box art, which are sometimes lost when they are burned onto DVD. It's almost like lunchboxes from the 60's and 70's...the box art on porn videos, particularly those from the old days, are somewhat campy...and should be retained. However, we know that the boxes are one of the main reasons why they can cause so much clutter.

Security

There's a danger in buying things from the Internet...standard warning of caveat emptor for all folks who want to give out their credit card numbers. Unfortunately, there's an additional fear...your mailbox...both of them. Some online porn dealers are probably as unscrupulous as your run-of-the-mill spammers, who can and probably will sell your e-mail and address to third party porn companies. Not to scare you or anything, but it's definitely possible to receive mailings with sexually explicit pictures of penises and guy-on-guy action without even requesting for it. Is it wrong for companies to betray your trust? Hmm...morally, yes...but business-wise, you know magazine publishing companies are doing the same.

How do you protect yourself? If you are concerned about stuff coming to your house (and you happen to live with less-than-accepting housemates), take it upon yourself to clearly read their privacy statement. Even though most companies deny selling your information, I can tell you right now that they still do. TLA Video is probably the worst, because they end up sending you their catalogs regardless of whether you want it or not. In any case, go to your neighborhood porn store if you want to keep transactions strictly to cash. The only disadvantage is that you will need to go in person, which will reduce the anonymity of the whole process. However, that's why porn stores are open so late...for you shy guys who don't want parents and children peeking over your shoulders to see what's in the brown paper bag.

J'accuse!

I guess I'm feeling paranoid right now, but I get the feeling that there's a conspiracy forming behind my back (as opposed to in front of my face). I always have premonitions and visions of such creepy things, because I've learned to be cautious after so many years of doing work with rather unscruplous individuals. The Internet is ultimately the best source for obtaining information, particularly when it comes to what's being circulated about yourself. I must confess that I had a good network and I know who to talk to for the latest dish. Of course, being Chinese probably has something to do with that, heh..

An interesting piece of news yesterday was Sion's response to age-old post about webspace. I guess I'd consider moving some of the old FAQ's and Top Five lists to a different server. I know some folks really enjoy the extensive FAQ's, particularly those about the sex toys. There's some folks who are clamoring for me to write some entries about sex moves, but I'm rather hesitant to share those with folks, heh.. If you can't imagine what a "swirl fuck" is, then you probably need to watch some more porn. Heh, you might think it's silly to emulate porn actors, but you have to find inspiration from somewhere. After that, you can start inventing your own stuff. As for sharing my moves, you probably already saw that episode of Seinfeld...don't make me go, "He stole my move!" Bottoms up!

Skinny no more

I guess I need the Internet to revamp their stereotypes of the Asian male physique. It was quite refreshing to see the diverse body shapes at places like Roxy...at least among the Asians and Pacific Islanders anyways. Whereas the stereotypes of waify Asian boys are still alive and well, you got to say that the population of beefy Asians have grown dramatically. Of course, I do mean beefy as in bodies with some definition and not simply stocky chunks that make up those gelatinous limbs. This probably means that enrollments over at Crunch has seen a good number of Chan's and Wong's...ahemm...never mind.

It's funny to say that it's both good and bad. Yay, we're slowly looking like the types that Asian-haters had always craved...then again, it's dismaying to see that it's only the physicality that gay men are ultimately fixating upon, particularly when involving Asians and Pacific Islanders. All of it was summed up at my weekend trip to the Web (gee, don't kill me, please!) and I saw this Filipino cage dancer. He had a nice build, not muscular, but good definition on his upper body. If that guy was out there at Roxy, I'm sure even the Asian-haters would be drooling, or at least confuse them for Latino guys.

Funny enough, all the added diversity in body shapes still doesn't change that evil stereotype about a certain other body part in the Asian male anatomy. Hmm...you know what I'm talking about. I've been having that conversation with several folks on Downelink and I think I could probably compile enough evidence to debunk the size myth...heh, umm...maybe I need to start a porn website. Gee, it would mighty ironic for me to become a successful pornographer? Hmm...an Asian Larry Flint...sans wheelchair and trollish creepiness, of course.

Daniel Wu-mania

Okay, so who doesn't know that I think Daniel Wu's hot. Even though he can't act to save his legitimacy, I guess I'm swept up by how eager he is to appear shirtless in all of his movies. While in Chinatown, I had to purchase a DVD that features him in a non-gay role...of course, his acting is no better in those flicks either, heh.. In case you were wondering, I just grabbed a  cheap $6 DVD called, "Hit Team". His crappy Cantonese is quite irritating for me, since it's the only dialect that I speak fluently, but I guess Mandarin is his dialect of choice. I had heard that he had a role in the upcoming Jackie Chan movie, "Around the World in Eighty Days". Anyways, I still have a copy of Enter the Phoenix coming from Phong...hope it'll be here soon.

All male revue

Today's romp in Manhattan (yes, I'm in Manhattan) meant a glorious stroll down Times Square and Chinatown. As always SoHo is boring for an anti-label queen such as myself. Despite the lack of shady areas on Broadway, I manage to keep myself to a minimum for sweatiness. Of course, I had to venture into Times Square for the Toys 'R Us, which is always mobbed by thousands of screaming children. Yes, the toys there were nice...but not too affordable. Give me the Union Square store anytime!

As for tonight, it's an excursion out to the Web...gee, you must think that I'm some kooky potato queen out for a rich sugar daddy. Oh well, at least I'll see Vinny and other folks...those folks who shouldn't be there, heh..

Bottoms up..

Time for the flip side of this whole discussion. Of course, you might be giving me the evil eye about why I went second with the bottoms. Gee, they're not second class citizens if that's what you're thinking. Heh, they practically make up the backbone of gay society, because we wouldn't be so special without them. Even though straight folks (and some queer ones too) look at butt sex with amazement and disgust, we all know that it's good when both partners know how to do. The only difference for bottoms from tops is that he can probably get the same pleasure from a dildo...dang, tops are expendable. Get your No. 2 outs...it's time to feud!

1.) Spring cleaning: Gwahaha, this is absolutely the first issue that all guys wants to talk about. We all get queasy sometimes about the possibility of a dirty hole...one that has made a few trips to a John before to you. While serious sex addict will encourage folks to do enemas, it's totally unnecessary to go that far. For the eager tops, you got to be able to handle a little bit of remnants (we call them dingleberries) if you want to poke someone up the ass. It's normal to have a few stray ones, but I guess you can keep it clean in there by EATING YOUR FIBER. Enemas and colonics can be a turn-on for some lovers of that fetish, but it can do a number on your rectal lining. An alternative is would taking a quick shower, which can ensure a fresh hole by simply washing it down there. Don't forget that you could always turn it into a group activity to get clean up before and after the sex...peachy!

2.) Sir, Cums-a-lot: If you're the top who's devoted to pleasuring the bottom (doesn't everyone want that?), you might be trying to get him off as fast as possible. Even though you might be looking to shoot your load immediately, a bottom guy might be enjoying the sensation of a hard penis in their ass...so don't be jerk him off like crazy. Of course, expert bottoms will usually tell you that they can cum immediately once there's penetration, so don't cut the program short by overzealously stroking him. If your beau isn't the type to get hard while getting fucked, then consider the possibility of a Fleshlight during the foray...ooohh!

3.) Pacific rim: Despite awful porn titles leading up to the act, it's not half as bad when a guy can only do some foreplay. Hmm...is rimming considered foreplay? Anyways, the initiated may be puzzled or even grossed out by the idea of licking a guy's hole, but it can (and does) provide extreme pleasure. If you get antsy about germs or funk, then just following point #1 and take a shower prior to sex. The hypochondriacs among us can also consider getting vaccinated for Hepatitis A, which is not a standard vaccine given to US folks...so be sure to request it from your doctor or clinic. In any case, a good rim job (with an apparent new term, giving tail, floating around) can be fun for both individuals...yeah, you heard me...even tops might enjoy some rimming once in a while. So, pucker up, baby!

4.) Hung bottoms: I've seen this particularly among white guys who date white guys. I'm somewhat bazzled by the fact that some tops can be such annoying size queens. If you were willing to be fucked by a bottom with a huge cock...then you're not entirely a top and he's not a bottom. Certainly, there's the opportunity for switching it up, but total tops sometimes can be too demanding sometimes. Of course, this isn't to say that all bottoms have teenie weenies, but even if they do, you just have to read yesterday's entry to find out what to do. If a guy does have top-ego, then maybe he could fuss about the bottom's dick not getting hard, but hey, just do your job and stick it in there.

5.) Breeding ground: On the serious side, it's time to talk about HIV and STD's 101. If you're a bottom who likes to play raw, you should use condoms. While we say it's okay to fuck raw when you're in a committed relationship, we all know that there needs to be an ounce of paranoia once every few days. Unless you're the type to get tested periodically and frequently, it's best to avoid raw meat if you're the type to have multiple penile entries. It's not just HIV...there's chlamydia and herpes...both of which can be symptomatic...as in you'll be feeling the pain when the boils erupt. Moreover, there are other STD's that can fester in your rectum that's not pleasant at all...all of which can result from doing the nasty without a rubber...be it a real dick or a dildo. Gross? Heh, then know your business!