Funky chicken

As you can see, I took off the new Xanga skin after Phillip informed me of problems with some of the graphics when viewed through a Mac. I guess I'll have to revamp some stuff, but it was a good try. Heh, I'd be very miffed if my skin ends up getting pirated by an unseemly Xanga writer. Oh well..

As for my vampiric transformation, I think I'm just nervous about the whole job search process. Although Kasie's suggestion about a red wine sedative sounds fun, I don't think I want to get into a habit of relying upon the bubblies for some snoozes. Instead, I think I've done the worst thing possible: caffeine. Due to the recent burst of muggy weather, I've been gulping down coffee, which is the worst thing for my system. Unlike other people, I prefer to get my doses of caffeine from soda. Drinking coffee usually makes me nervous and make it difficult for me to concentrate. Ahemm, caffeine is a drug. What's wrong with my metabolism lately? I think I might be going through PMS or puberty or something. Maybe I'll develop superpowers..

On a different topic, my latest media peeve is the continued explosion in "reality" television shows. Of course, I can tell the trend is starting to run dry...they're getting more and more eccentric. I think viewers will eventually catch onto the fact that they're not really reality-based at all. Particular targets of my evil eye are the John Gotti family show and that inane bounty hunter show. Even though those Gotti kids look like sad metrosexuals without a sense of style, I can't believe anyone can find that family appealing beyond their supposed aura of "old money" prestige. When did we turn into a society that praises bitchy and whiny teenage boys for their spoiled attitudes and comforts bought by mob relations? As for that bounty hunter reality show, I'm just turned off by the guy's bad hair. If he's trying to pull the whole uber-masculine persona, I don't think a circa-1982 glam rock hairdo can convince me of any toughness beyond a power ballad.

Gosh, when is it going to be 2005?

Fits like a glove

Tada! This is the new skin. I don't know if folks enjoy this more than the old one, but it's slightly more compact. Of course, the real improvement in this version is the integrated Asian male hotness...you get to oggle the guy just by clicking on the links. If you're the curious (or lecherous) type, you can search around for two Easter egg links in this new layout. I'll be test driving this Xanga skin for a day or two, just to see how well it works. I don't think I'll keep this permanently, especially since it might limit my picture posting abilities. (Heh, of course, you wouldn't want that..) For now, let's just test it out and see if I find any use for a new skin.

The Republican National Convention started and already there's a lot of hot air on those television broadcasts. The first issue they want to address is diversity...every single interview and newcast involved some Republican spouting off about inclusion and diversity in the Republican party. It was surprising to see Bo Derek is Republican, even though she more of a moderate Republican. Anyways, they tried so hard to make viewers think that they're inclusive of people of color...a feat not easy to accomplish. I noticed how voting delegates didn't seem to show many people of color at all.

The other thing that made me barf was their silly assertion that the Republicans were inclusive of young people. I remember this idea from FOX News' coverage of the Democratic National Convention. I can't understand why young people would want to identify with Republican values beyond the fact that their parents might be in that party. Well, I guess we shouldn't forget Michael J. Fox played a Republican teenager in that kooky 80's TV show. Hmm...life shouldn't imitate television. We'll just have to see how the rest rolls out. Oh yeah, I won't be retracting my statement about the Log Cabin Republicans, much to Albert's chagrin.

Grumbly slumber

I've been going through my old syndrome of evening insomnia. I used to have this when I was working and going to school at the same time. The stress of both activities kept me up at night and prevented me from closing my eyes even when dawn was approaching. (Un)fortunately, it doesn't have much to do with oversleeping or my laziness or even my cabin fever. Of course, I don't know if I can call it insomnia, because once the sun comes up, I start to feel tired. Maybe I'm turning into a vampire or something...I do like to suck and all..

In last night's bout, I ended up finishing my own original Xanga skin. It's technically done and I could apply it to my current settings. However, the new skin will feature a smaller font size and it won't allow for much picture posting. Wha?? Yeah, I decided to revamp it so that there will only be text in the blog section of my Xanga. I was thinking of permanently moving the picture posting over to Yafro, so folks can drool over that stuff on that site. I'm still contemplating whether I would want to switch to this new skin, although I've got to admit that it's pretty good (and sexy).

In the meanwhile, I've been examining my dieting habits and I'm sure I need to cut back on all the beef. Most of my diet is centered around large portions of red meat. Luckily, I have an abundance in fiber and vegetable, mostly thanks to my switch from white rice to corn. Of course, I've significantly cut back on my pasta in the last two weeks, which might be a good explanation for my lack of quick energy. I'm the king of processed carbohydrates, which is now being challenged by my over-consumption of bovine products. Anyways, oink oink oink!

Oh yeah, there's a funny quote at the bottom of this article about Bryan Nickson. The Olympics are over!

From greatness to perversion

If you've been keeping up with the Olympics, then I'm sure you've watched the swimming and diving events. Speedos aside, it's always the most competitive event that you can find in the Summer Olympics. Those well-sculpted bodies are often tempered by boyish good looks, which make swimmers and divers the cutest athletes in the entire country of Greece. The highly praised Alexander Despatie has been showing it up for some Canadian pride and all, but China's the champ from Sidney's round. So, you already know about Tian Liang and his supposed expert performance.

Now, you might not have heard about a new contender by the name of Bryan Nickson. Albeit a very Western name, this newcomer from Malaysia is an extra-special diver, because he's only fourteen years old. Yepp, you heard me right...he's only fourteen. He was the country's flag bearer in the opening ceremony and easily draw large attention for his youthfulness and diminutive size. When I first saw his name and then later saw him perform, I was just as surprised to see a child (he looked like one, okay?) competing against guys nearly half a decade older than him.

Now, you probably know what I'm going to talk about next. With a fourteen year old boy, you've got to have pedo's who are wanking off as this speedo-clad youngster's making his dive. Of course, it wasn't hard to find evidence of that online. Every child molester and boy-lover man is probably scrounding the Internet to pick up more pictures of the boy. Sad, n'est-ce pas? You've got a Tian Liang out there, who's legal and cute, but you've got goldfish-men (Chinese slang) looking to make a sex object out of a child.

Peeved yet? Think of it this way...Nickson will definitely be coming back in the next Olympic competition in Bejing. By that time, he'll be eighteen and legal. If I am being my usual cynical bastard-like self, then I'll wager that these fiends will drop Nickson as their object of affection and move onto newer, younger meat. Of course, they'll be chagrined, but I never put it past child molesters to find some thing or another to fetishize. I wonder if I have any child molesters reading my Xanga. Hmm..

Look out

As you can see, the problem with SGBoy has gone away. I guess it was a temporary problem. However, I'm still opting to change the setup of my Xanga. We'll just to have to see how much it'll change from this current setup. Of course, I'm sure the recent postings of Olympic-oriented pictures seemed appropriate, even though I really haven't found many that seemed extra sexy or appealing. Dang, those photographers need to zoom in with those telephotographic lens..

Last night, I happened to watch the Greco-Roman wrestling matches and I was treated to singlets and muscles. Heh, too bad it happened to be big burly men, even though one of them was sporting the most gawdy bling bling earring. Sometimes I think the the specificity and historical connections in those events often means an advantage in performance. For example, domination in events, such as basketball, doesn't seem to be a big deal to me. Of course, now that all sports seem to gain international popularity, even basketball will eventually become less of an American sport. Those six-feet Asian women can certainly change my perspective on competitiveness...female Yao Ming?

Since the Olympics will be over by this weekend, the media coverage has been pretty good. American correspondents and commentators seem to pull off their usual style of reporting events, especially when it comes to witless banter. I don't think they're too biased when it comes to critiques of an athlete's performance, but they try too hard to get audiences to identify with the American athletes, often placing them as underdog candidates.

On a totally different topic, I was doing some girl talk with an old friend of mine about guys and penises. As declared through my dating pact, we were gossipping about the guys who've done the full frontal experience and the ooh's and ahh's of the man meat market. Let's just say it was rather cathartic to cast off all the sensuality associated with the phallus and gab about it like it's just another body part. Anti-porn? Hmm...desensationalization, tada!

You want fries with that?

I got a letter in the mail today about a professor being considered for tenure at my alma mater. Since this was a professor that I had studied under, I don't think I would have a problem writing a letter of support. Her class was the only one that specifically addressed GLBT issues, albeit a large portion of it being dedicated to "T". Of course, she's been teaching there for almost a decade, so I'm a bit surprised she doesn't have tenure already. However, I'm sure the recent retirement of several professors helped to free up some tenured positions. I wonder if I could ever become a tenured professor...

On a different note, I've been rummaging through the CreateBlog website for some ways to spiff up my Xanga, following the loss of my SGBoy picture hotlinking. Rather than relying upon my current, large-scale and large print setup, I think I'll change it to a much cleaner and sleeker appearance. Unfortunately, I don't think I want to invest much time into that right now, especially in the midst of my other ongoing projects...most importantly, the job hunt.

Body-wise, I've been somewhat unsure about my recent progressive weight gain. I'm sure it has something to do with my several weeks of cooking foods that I like, in addition to shoveling the leftovers into my stomach. It's somewhat unnerving to jump on the scale every few days or so and spot that I've gain another pound. I'm not too concerned with it right now, but I'm sure it'll start to affect my abdominal region if it doesn't stop. It's either I go back to the diet before the whole summer tour cooking schedule, or I need to actually do some extra physical exertion. Certainly I don't see myself as needing to go to the gym, but then again, I didn't previously eat so much either.

Spooge

The Republican National Convention is next week. I saw on Greater Boston that Cheney has apparently made a political ploy to insinuate that gay people aren't the devil after all. I don't take any of that seriously, especially considering how his daughter's the doormat of lesbian figurehead children. Of course, I think that this was just a move to convince the Log Cabin Republicans that their party hasn't abandoned the one issue that misguided pink elephant worshippers hold dear. All I can imagine in upcoming Log Cabin Republican meetings are jive sessions on spinning the gay marriage issue positively for conservatives.

I've figured out a plan for posting pictures again. For folks who've been frustrated over the lost of SGBoy hotlinking, I suggest moving your stuff over to Yafro. Afterwards, you can upload your pictures, but be sure to set your viewing privilege to "Friends only". You will still be able to hotlink them from Yafro and keep your privacy on the actual Yafro site. Let me tell you...you'll want to keep your pictures private, especially considering the lecherous and sometimes ignorant comments that show up on the uploaded pictures. Try it out!

Caught!

If you haven't noticed with all the red x's all over my Xanga, it appears that SGBoy finally caught onto the hotlinking that's been going on. I guess it probably wouldn't have been that noticeable until SGBoy pictures were showing up on all the Xangas. Heh, oh well...it's was a fun run for now. I'll switch over to Yafro, but it just means that there's more work to do to insert images.

Anyways, I happen to watch the Olympics yesterday and spotted that Bryan Clay in the decathalon events. Heh, he's pretty awful during one of his events, but you got to admit that he looks pretty hot in those tight spandex singlets. Of course, it's hard to tell what ethnicity he is from his last name, but my investigations revealed that he's Hawaiian. It's quite sad that he didn't do so well and it's a bit of an annoyance to always being compared to his teammate.

On a similar note, I've always wondered why Olympic athletes don't all become supermodels after their competitive career is over. I swear that they wouldn't even have to worry about criticisms over their bodies...an Olympic-class body isn't something that comes out of a bottle. Of course, that Alexei Nemov showed up again, whom I remember from previous Olympics as the great heartthrob for screaming spectators everywhere. Now, there's always the hot Chinese, Japanese, and Korean gymnasts and swimmers. Delicious!

Objection!

I'm glad Aaron enjoyed yesterday's entry so much that he actually wrote a counterargument to my discussion about the model minority myth's role in Asian fetishism. Of course, I love it when guys actually take the time out to dedicate a day's entry into responding to my musings...it's exactly what I want guys to do. Critical thinking and debate is a virtue of discussion...it's much better than just accepting everything as truth or simply blurting your objections with explanation. I think Aaron's got great points about the over-rationalization of sexual relationships; his perspective is oriented around subconscious or innate qualities in our persona that drives human behavior. I probably wouldn't have believe too much on biology and genetics to explain all of that, but it's one of the prevailing arguments associated with human sexual attraction.

As for my usage of the model minority myth, I think it's based on the fact that sociological explanations take into account the abilities of human beings to make choices. Therefore, it's not as strict as a biological theory, which enables people to act differently. This is why we have Asians and Pacific Islanders who can date guys in a myriad of racial preferences, physical requirements, or even the brand of hair gel that they use. Of course, the model minority myth also tackles the issue of social advantage and privilege...which I think is greatly related to dating and relationships.

Whether we like it or not, we date guys based on social advantages that might be afforded to us. The most obvious benefit that most guys want is sex...yeah, and lots of it. Another benefits might be greater access to social networks, material gains (extra birthday and Christmas presents, ahemm..), or for the pure joy of making single people jealous. The model minority myth would then state the positive perceptions of Asians and Pacific Islanders can be an incentive for gay men to date them. Conversely, it also can be used to explain why Asians and Pacific Islanders may choose to date white guys.

I remember a classic example that we used to use was for undocumented Asian young men, who would be living in the United States and venturing out for the first time onto the gay scene. Their desire to date a white guy can be motivated or predicated by the possibility of materials gains (the gold-digger stereotype) or having white partners as a status symbol (trophy boyfriends). Of course, the reverse can certainly be true in how American men may desire to date undocumented folks...the co-dependence and attention, particularly if it meant translation or provision of access to services or luxuries (can't make it without English in this country).

Clearly, whatever theory you ascribe to, it's most likely valid. I remember when I took a Making Arguments class, the professor said that writers and researchers always need to come up with more than one explanation for any given problem or issue. If you only believe that there is one cause to a social issue, then you've encountered an argument fallacy: oversimplification. So, let's just jump for joy that Aaron's provided an alternative theory. Yay!

The starches

After reading an David's entry about lost love, I thought I'd crack open some of the myths that surrounds the transformation of rice and potato queens. Certainly, it's been a well played topic on this Xanga, but somehow most folks can't agree upon one concurrent theory to why some guys choose rice or potato. Of course, there is one good reason: free will. If we can avoid all the drama and not stopping using racial preferences, then this big headache wouldn't have popped up. However, it's clear that people define their own identities and their partner's through a litany of (tired) stereotypes.

I'd like to think that Charles' latest work on the BASIC Conference would a perfect way to address this. Of course, the pertinent issue that should come up among the rice-potato issue would be the model minority myth. Even though we describe it as an issue related to education, economics, and racism, it's inexorably tied to dating and relationships. We can't escape the model minority, because it has had a profound effect upon how gay men view Asians and Pacific Islanders and their rising status in the gay world. The stereotypes of them being smart, talented, and polite (don't we rock?) are easily co-opted by rice queens. If they can't use the physical attributes as qualifiers, then why not go the route of "personality"? Of course, they're all stereotypes.

Then how do we explain potato queens? It's the same...potato queens target the individuals who possess the most power in this society. It might not be power as we define it in terms of wealth...it's social capital that white people possess that usually surpasses individuals from other racial and ethnic group. Of course, let's not forget that the pervasiveness of white people: the positive symbolism and images that are more often associated with them is hard to dismiss as attractive.

The model minority myth also serves to explain not only the race issue, but also the age differences often cited as problems between Asian-white couples. The attractiveness of Asian or Pacific Islander college students: they're young, they are perceived as individual with a direction in life, and they will more likely be successful in life upon graduation. Of course, this is our stereotype of Asians and Pacific Islanders in their early twenties...they all should be going to college. Conversely, the appeal of older white men is also associated with success and power, with the exception that the situation seems to be flipped around. We think of white guys as wine maturing in a bottle, while Asians are fruits (pun intended) that need to be eaten when they're ripe.

Before people come and bite my head off (ahemm...David), I never bothered to define rice queens as white people liking Asians or the broader definition of anyone liking Asians. I also wouldn't sweep aside any of the physical stereotypes and fetishism that we're all acquainted with...they're too strong to ignore. Enjoy!

More butt support

I rarely ever criticize (heh, oh wait, that's not true..) folks for their kookiness, but I got to profess my great distaste for shady people here in Boston. It's not that they're doing anything wrong in society, but the way they go about their social ladder climbing. I don't know if folks are just so starved for good impressions that they can be so two-faced in nearly every interaction when it comes to sex(uality). Come on...we're one of the safest places to be gay and out...even more so for Asians and Pacific Islanders within the last few years. The attempts by which some folks to evangelize themselves, therefore immunizing, from the everyday-raunchiness of sex is quite deplorable.

What do I mean? I'm just so incensed by how utterly ruthless most men are when it comes to acquiring the "significant other". To me, it looks like everyone's racing to a finish line that's really had no beginning and that the grand prize is nothing but cheap plastic (in more ways than one). What's with this infernal obsession with finding "the one"? It drives gay boys to be spiteful, jealous, and plain ol' stinky. As head honcho of this gay empire, I will assure you that there are plenty of men out there, even if that man you saw has been snatched up by fiendish vultures.

Of course, I'm terribly frustrated by what some Bostonians see as the ends through their means, by which they need to isolate and segregrate every aspect of their lives to ensure their marital bliss. If I were the type to encourage orgiastic forms of dating, I'd actually encourage Sex-in-the-City-style girl talk, and you know these sex-starved gay boys need it. The lonely hearts only intend on burying themselves in self-pity about why they are single and alone (wallowing in your own crapulence isn't sexy). All the while, I think it's only beneficial, if not better, to be banding your bargaining power in the sex and dating world by declaring a dating pact.

Wha?? Yes, a dating pact. I hereby declare by the power invested in me by the jizz of God that there be established a new structure for the Boston dating scene. The rules are simple: there will no longer be walls to our mating dance. If you got something to say, then say it to your brothers. If you want to listen, then you got to keep your ears open and your cell phones on. Rather than hurting your own ego and boring others with your self-pity, take Willa Ford's mantra and run with it...and I quote,

"Here's to the men we love;

Here's to the men who love us.

Here's to the men who don't love us.

Fuck the men...let's drink to us!"

Scratch

"I'm not crazy...it's the rest of the world that's gone mad." Heh, it reminds me of a story that I had posted up on the wall of my office in my last job. It's a religious parable about a man who hears from God that, in a week, all the water in his village will become poisoned. God directs the man to save up as much of the clean water and then move to a farmhouse at a hill outside of the village. In a week, the man begins to notice that the villagers start to speak in tongue after drinking the water from the village well. Pretty soon, everyone in the village is speaking in tongue and the man tries to convince them that the water has been poisoned. However, all the afflicted villagers couldn't understand the man and thought he was speaking in tongue. Eventually, all the villagers were convinced that the man was crazy, because only he speaks in a language that no one can comprehend, not realizing that they were actually the ones who had changed. The socially ostracized man lived outside of the village for several weeks surviving on his stored water, only to submit to the fact that he's eventually run of safe water and then be forced to drink the water from the village well.

Gee, I guess I never got an official interpretation of what the moral of the story was. In many ways, it can be a story encouraging or discouraging change. In any case, I'm not going crazy if that's what you're wondering. However, the craziest thing to hit the East Coast will be the Republican National Convention in Manhattan. Think about it...Bostonians were pretty lucky to host a convention for liberals. New Yorkers will have to deal with conservative dolts who'll be preaching to God that all homos be struck down by divine intervention. In Bush-speak, that means an SUV.

If I am desperate enough to do my own independent business, Phong and I have decided that we'll start our own independent porn company featuring Asian guys. Pornography as liberation? Maybe, if you get the right guys...and if you market it correctly. Some of you might be rolling your eyes about the whole possibility that I'll create a whole new generation of exploitative porn, but what if there was the chance of creating a form of empowering porn? I don't know how we could revolutionize it, but I can guarantee you that it won't be based a client base of trolls, even if they are the backbone of the porn economy. Then how do we succeed? There's no better way than to desensationalize porn and stopping evangelists from demonizing it. So, who's ready to see some penis?

Maintaining your insanity

I think I've gone crazy. That realization came from the fact that I actually made Hamburger Helper tonight. I'm not much for box mixes other than cheesy potatoes, but I guess my brain is so fried that I just decided to make dinner out of the box. Don't get me wrong...that stuff sells for a reason. My end product wasn't too bad...it reminded me of a poor man's lasagna. I don't know why I've suddenly made a such a weird culinary move. Now that pretty much everyone's on the summer tour, there's no one to really cook for. However, it makes the task just a more complicated as I'm more used to cooking for people rather than just for myself. Sighh..

If you remember my big story, I've decided to do more investigation, pending some legal advice. Coincidentally, I happen to find a position at legal assistance organization, which I felt would be a good place to hide out for a year. Of course, it's not the perfect job, particularly the makeup of the staff. As a legal assistance center providing aid to victims of sexual assault, the staff is predominantly female...actually it's 100% female. Furthermore, the agency staff are all white. The agency profile did mention that there were more people who collaborate with the center, which could mean some people of color working in attorney positions. Hmm...a non-white attorney in Boston..

On a depressing note, I'm basically down to my last hundred dollar. It's been a fun two year run of not working and surviving from my rainy day fund. If you remember, I saved up $5000 initially to go back and finish school. A few Christmas dough and some New Year cash, I was able to hold out until now. I guess if I wasn't the stingy bastard that I am, it probably wouldn't have been possible to survive for this long. Of course, I think it's time for me to put up an estate sale...it just depends on what goes first. You porn lovers better not be pawing for my collection. Ahemm..

Solid gold

Even though I was suppose to do some writing today, I ended up putting all of that aside in lieu of my recent big discovery. Yesterday, I found a major story, which could potentially jumpstart my writing and journalism career. Of course, you're thinking, "What journalism career?" Heh, I never intended journalism to be my path, but it's been a more attractive choice considering its resistance to bad economic shifts. As a result, I've been perusing the publishing and printing job opportunities...most of which have turned up fruitless. However, I think I've found a way to get my foot in the door by publishing a few freelance pieces. The hard part, of course, is finding legitimately good stories that could be accepted by mainstream news outlet.

Through an entirely unrelated matter, I found an extremely juicy story...one that would easily be picked up by newspapers and news outlet. By finding one picture on the Internet, I basically connected several pertient, yet unlinked pieces of information to expose an egregious travesty of justice. No, this isn't a story about freeing a locked up criminal. It's actually a story that would incense the public about the moral depravity of child molesters. If anything, this story has merits and I think I could be doing a good thing by writing and publishing this expose.

Of course, there is a moral and ethical concern as the evidence, which I have compiled, aren't clear proof to substantiate any current wrongdoing on the part of the individual whom I was investigating. Kasie would be quick to tell me to back off and that I'd probably be sued for slander and libel in a heart beat if I ended up producing this story. However, I'm so tempted to jump on this story as it could be part of a larger scandal that would be quite beneficial to establishing myself as a legitimate writer. Unfortunately, I have a conscience and the moral and ethical issues are just stabbing me in the heart. I'm looking to approach some legal counsel or experienced journalists for some advice before tackling this one. Fudge.

Rewrite!

At this moment, I'm not a happy camper. Even though I have the dubious reputation of being anal about other people's proofreading, I found an unhappy surprise when I checked the document file for my resume. Apparently, there was a grammatical error on one of my sentences in my work experience section. It's pretty easy to see how it slipped past the spell check in Microsoft Office, but I can see how it can be interpreted as a sloppy error. If I am to become a professional writer in any official capcity at any organization, I certainly would need to avoid these obvious mistakes.

The worst thing is that I've used this version of my resume for the last five jobs that I've applied for. Of course, that dream job that I wanted with this international organization received this version and I can only surmise that it would be negative point against me as this writer position was an advanced one, not an entry level. I won't lament over these mistakes anymore, since I can't do anything about it. However, I specifically went back and changed that error back to an older, previous version, which was grammatically correct. I guess this is the disadvantage of keeping several versions of the same resume...you end up forgetting that some have errors.

In the meantime, I also updated my Monster resume. I never got any hits on that website, especially considering my field isn't well represented on there. However, I guess it's good to just leave it there and hope for the best. Of course, I don't believe that employers will simply pluck you out and plop a job into your lap. I pretty much go through the routine of searching on Idealist.org everyday. Meh, I think I should probably try a different website, especially since there doesn't seem to be a good pool of organization posting positions for immediate hires. This is what happens during the summer...everyone wants to get new hires in during the fall, perfect for saving budget and funding during the slowdown of summer fun. Funky.

Slowpoke

I don't know if it was true or not, but it seemed as if everything was operating at half speed today. Despite the fact that this is summer, it was unseasonably cold and overcast all day. There was no sun and it was misty, more resembling weather found in a English swamp than in a city. Of course, this didn't stop people from going about their business...the city was pretty busy with people. However, I was greatly annoyed by the fact that it took forever for the trains to go from stop to stop...I think it took double the normal travel time. Of course, the woman sitting next to me get complaining to her five year old son about how slow the train was...the boy just sat there without a care in the world.

I did the normal routine of looking for jobs again. It's starting to become a task and I found it ironic to considering a position at a career development agency. Isn't it weird to work at an agency where you help other people find jobs every single day? It doesn't exactly fit into what I like to do, particularly since it mainly involves working with adults. I guess it can't be too bad if it's a temporary thing, but I was hoping to do a long term position for my first job after graduation. I don't think there's anything that I wouldn't consider doing, provided that there's the potential for upward mobility. Of course, everyone who knows me that money and salary isn't a top priority for me...heh, a decent salary wouldn't hurt though..

While transferring onto a second train on my trip today, I also thought I saw a former high school classmate. I've been having trouble recognizing people, especially those that drastically change their appearances. It's very embarassing to stare them in the face and then internally questioning myself, "Do I know her?" I've already had several instances where they call me out and complain to me about the cold stares. I can't imagine how things are going to be during my five-year reunion and I'll have to spend all night trying to figure out faces from names. If anything, it'll be an absolute hoot to see where people are...job-wise, relationship-wise, and hairline-wise.

What hurricane?

Despite fears of a massive hurricane touching down on Massachusetts today, there was little or no drizzle in my area. Amidst an August Moon Festival that was suppose to take place today, I found out that it was postponed until next week, regardless of the overcast, yet bearable weather conditions. Of course, the problem was the fact that planners of the event didn't do a good job of alerting attendees about the cancellation of the event, instead luring them into Kam Man Supermarket just to get them in the stores. Heh, Kam Man...I like the one in NYC Chinatown better..

On a different note, I saw two trans folks yesterday. They were both MTF's, but only one of them was passing. The first one actually reminded me of someone I knew...maybe I saw her from somewhere before. She had scraggly, fried brown hair. The second one didn't pass, mainly because she was too muscular. They both had boobs...as in real breasts. They choose very modest, realistic cup sizes. Dang, I was looking at boobs...excuse me, but breasts is generally traumatic for me. Of course, don't get me wrong, they're a beautiful thing...I mean things..

Foster home for unwanted governors

Hmm...everyone's sounded off on the whole McGreevy scandal...not that it's much of a scandal. I think the media hasn't given this as much attention, which I feel is a smart move. It's always difficult to approach issues of sexuality, particularly when a governonr outs himself on television. It vaguely reminds me of a plot from a porn video, but I guess McGreevy's making the preemptive move. If anything, this is what the conservatives want...get him out of office before he can be taken advantage of. After reading several biographical sketches about McGreevy, he seems to come with a great deal of baggage, much of which involves his prior professional positions...the whole coming out thing seems so out of the blue.

Frankly, I don't think it was necessary for him to resign from his position. Moreover, it's pretty confusing...a gay man residing in the most powerful seat of the state executive branch gives up his title for the sake of legitimacy. I don't know if it's the right move, but it goes to show you how politics and sexuality are awful bed fellows. I guess there's no mention about whether or not he's leaving his wife, but I'm pretty sure a sham marriage isn't too bearable when it's splashed across the headlines. I guess it's better to be transparent about everything, but I guess McGreevy ends up losing everything in the end anyways.

On a different note, today marks the start of the Olympics. Heh, we all know the prize of the Summer Olympics comes from the swimming competitions and all the cute guys in speedos. Of course, there's also the gymnastics competition, which means I get to watch all the cute buff gymnasts flipping here and there. Hooray!

Expensive stuff

It's clear that plastic surgery (or cosmetic sugery for you non-boob folks) is the hot TV fad for this summer. Practically every channel that I flip to has some reality show detailing how a woman's getting bigger boobs or how a man's getting a tummy tuck. There's also that show, Nip/Tuck, which I'm actually quite hooked on, mainly because of the rear nudity. In any case, I'm starting to get bored of everyone going under the knife...I'm quite surprised that I usually still have my appetite while eating a cheeseburger and watching surgery shows on TLC. Of course, I'm totally bored with MTV's perspectives on it, particularly those self-indulgent WASP-y girls who complain to their soccer momma's about getting an enlargement on their already-huge breasts.

Along the same lines as top dollar cut-ups, I went to both Barnes & Noble and Borders yesterday in the hopes of purchasing a book by James Carroll called, Crusade: Chronicles of an Unjust War (The American Empire Project). However, I was startled to find out the book cost a whopping $25. Okay, I must profess that I don't actually go out and buy many books...plus that book was on hardcover. However, I guess this is why illiteracy is so high in the United States...the publishing industry puts such a high markup on the final product due to fees, royalties, and other costs. I don't blame a young person who'd rather spend that money buying a new GameBoy Advance cartridge instead of a book. If anything, I'd suggest they save up all their money and just waste it on some type of plastic surgery when they're older...why be smart when you can look hot? GASP!!

Asian news-ology

I happen to glance at a few Asian-related things on the Internet. Even though we're rarely put at the forefront of any mainstream news, it's always interesting what you can find online. Behold!

1.) Asian design diva: Heh, we've all seen Vern Vip on Trading Spaces, but I was rather surprised to see how he's whored out his name like Martha Stewart and Kathie Lee to bolster his own line of lacquerware. Of course, we all know he's gay...he's a bit more spicy than metrosexual and those massive arms of his can certainly give anyone a nice firm hug. In any case, I'm just wondering if he's aiming to become the Asian Martha Stewart...he's everywhere, ranging from making the covers of design magazines, countless books, and even cheap looking ads. He certainly seems like a cool person, but he definitely lacks his own persona outside of the design world. Hello, Mr Yip..

2.) Misleading AIDS: I didn't like this article that was posted on SGBoy. Gee, I don't think any type of science article on that website should be viewed as gold, particularly since they're a digest of multiple articles found all over the web. Their header, "HIV spread 'can be curbed' by anti-retroviral drugs" made me feel a bit irked, particularly since the level of prevention education among Asians and Pacific Islanders living abroad (not to mention SGBOY addicts) are often sub par. Based on an elementary understanding of English and biolgical sciences, it's very easy to misinterpret the article...especially if you don't make it all the way down to the last paragraph. Dang tag lines!

3.) Coconut lady: Charles did a big expose on Michelle Malkin. That lady's big trouble for a community that attempting to escape dynamic stereotypes, but not at the expense of free thinking liberalism and radicalism. Her conservative, and often misguided, notions of choice and responsibility can easily match those of FOX News anchors (of which she is often featured on). Her unsympathetic chastising of A&F t-shirt protestors a few years ago goes to show how easily some Asians and Pacific Islanders can lose touch with their own communities. I can't say that she's not entitled to her own opinions, but when is she going to score a point for the home team? Ahemm...I guess we should make sure which team she's on. Even though she might play well with right-wing folks, I'm sure they're all making jokes and pointing at the silly Filipina (coco)nut. How disappointing..

Chappelle epiphany

Isn't it dismaying that my only interesting exposure to discourse about race comes from The Dave Chappelle Show? Despite the blatantly racist and biased perspectives found on the sketch comedy show, I approve of the in-your-face aspect of the material. This is one of the defining factors that makes discussion about race and ethnicity so craptacular in the United States. We're often tugged in two different directions: one side that says racism does exist and the other side that says racism doesn't exist anymore. Of course, there's that deluded minority that might tell you that racism has never existed...heh, I'll guarantee you those people aren't in my circles.

Even though I'm called anti-white by so many folks on here, I don't think I need to be apologetic about the fact that I'm willing to talk about racism. Heh, I'm not trying to give myself a pat on the back (or the butt). It goes back to why I like Dave Chappelle's approach, albeit misguided and sometime insensitive. The underlying objective is to not simply to have the discourse, but also to react to it. As always, I remind folks that it's the virtue of discourse that makes it all worthwhile. After dissecting conversations from both David and Luke, I'm hopeful that readers understand why there's a need to have that discussion.

Of course, I think we shirk away from the ground rule of "agree to disagree", particularly when we come to the issue of race. Normally, we're stuck on the rule of "If you can't say anything good, don't say anything at all." This goes along with that group of people who believe that racism doesn't exist anymore. Heh, you might think that I'm a glutton for punishment by constantly exposing myself to such an exhausting topic. However, I'd venture to say that it's be much more frustrating to live through life without discussing the inequities of society. Let's just not forget all the cross-sections of oppressions..

Granted, I'm preaching to the choir. Heh, it's not like I'm dropping a few hints on what folks should submit, but it'll be interesting to read other folks' experiences with this topic. Of course, I'm not looking for folks to be PC or apologetic (in both definitions)...it's better to be honest about your frequent and infrequent exposure to racism...not to mention homophobia. If there's a machineto capture all of that discussion onto paper, then I'd invent it immediately. Sighh..

Little mouse on the prairie

I hate to pressure folks, but I wanted to put a reminder up for folks who might be interested in submitting something for my zine project. As previously mentioned, I'm looking for pieces that address preliminary discussions about sexuality. I have received a few submissions, but they didn't fit exactly into the theme for this premier issue. However, I'm still collecting every submission and they'll eventually end up in a future issue of a+ Magazine.

Since I'm hoping for this to become a community-oriented project, it's very possible for the more active folks to get their names in the project as a collaborative partner. What are the benefits of such participation? Heh, I guess college folks can definitely enjoy the perks of adding it to your resume as a community/volunteer experience.

I guess the motivation to do this project came as a result of the lack of community opportunities for writers (particularly you guys) to go a step beyond blogging. Yeah, I know there are several different applications for the skills you acquire as a result of diligent writing each day, but certainly there's more to be gained for that whole experience. If you are a frequent reader of youth-oriented anthologies, then you'll know that writing and publication of such pieces have further long term benefits. Despite the perceived elementary level of writing among some pieces, I think folks should learn more than just how to write...there are additional steps that follows the creative writing process.

Furthermore, there's that special feeling of accomplishment that you get from having submitted a piece and then seeing it get published in the end. Of course, I have to be a bit narcissistic on this whole project, particularly if it ends up coming into fruition. It's good to have a few notches under your belt, especially if it's related to a passion of yours. Heh, yes...this means that writing is a passion of mine. Gee, can't you tell from all the words that you're being barraged with? All I have to do now is published a book that's a compilation of all my entries. Wahoo!

Long range missiles

Hopefully, folks have picked up a few pointers or refreshers after reading my entries for the past few days. It's pretty easy to start writing, but it's another thing when you need to look at it again...e.g. the revision process. Of course, we can spare ourselves that trouble by proofreading before clicking the "Submit" button, but sometimes we just want to write it down and post it up. I don't really want to lecture folks on the "joys" of editing and revising pieces, particularly since this is the phase that I hate the most.

One of the benefits of revising a piece is that it'll get longer...well, hopefully.. Sometimes you might get some better ideas or find a new euphemism for sex...it's all up to you on how you want to expand your piece. However, there's also the possibility that your piece might get shorter, which might be good for folks who find themselves rambling on and on. I personally don't find many individuals who come out with a shorter piece after revision, unless they intended on making it more concise.

The magic of rewriting a piece, however, can be the total destruction of the original piece and you end up with an entirely new and unfamiliar piece as the final product. Freaky? Well, I guess you can't consider the same as the original, but at least you now have something to revise all over again. Heh...how many times can you revise something? (Un)fortunately, there can be an infinite amount of times that a piece can be revised...pretty scary for folks who fear the editing process. Trauma!

Meet your maker

I've been rather baffled lately by the string of impersonations on Downelink. As an expert information gatherer and researcher, I feel that I have all the necessary knowledge and skills to figure out how folks go about identity fraud online. In terms of gay men, it's easy to determine the source of pictures...they're everywhere. That's why it's scary that folks can easily construct themselves a new identity on a whim...it's frightening how close to the original it can be. However, I'm glad that I'm the cautious type to know when there are such individuals looking to deceive folks. Of course, it's best to protect yourself and your own identity and make sure that strangers can't as easily impersonate you on the Internet.

That's why I've decided to make today's writing technique focused on individual styles. Everyone has a way of writing and expressing their thoughts on paper. If you don't have one yet, it's good to develop one to distinguish your own voice from that of a robot. Examples of stylistic details can range from a choice interjections, nouveau spelling, or recurring prepositional phrases. They don't all have to be based on grammatical neatness...although many folks sometimes can go overboard in using their own styles. Let's not forget why we're doing this though...we're trying to keep our own voices distinct and make ourselves stand out among the millions of writers out there...not to mention the thousands of fakes pretending to be you. Anyways, how well do you know my details? Well, here are a few:

a.) Most types of interjections have double letter endings, such as "sighh" or "aww".

b.) My favorite phrase is, "of course".

c.) I rarely ever abbreviate or use shortened versions of common slangs, such as "okay".

d.) My use of elipses (multiple periods) are very specific. Two periods at an end of a sentence; three periods to connect two sentences or clauses.

e.) Even though I'm a strict person when it comes to grammar, I like using the distinct spelling, "anyways".

When blogs go bad

Ever wonder why some blogs sometimes go nowhere? Xanga is certainly no exception to this rule. Actually, it has less to do with the site as it does with the writers. I assume that many folks, particularly those in the Asian Gay, Lesbian, Bisexuals, and Transgender Blogring, begin their journals as a method to express their angst, frustration, and sadness. Of course, this is a healthy and therapeutic process, provided that the writer gradually becomes more adjusted upon writing down their negativies. Everyone does this once in a while...we recount our horrible date from last Tuesday with Muriel...or the lack of dates in the previous six months...or even the fact that we've gain more than a few extra pounds.

However, I've noticed with many blogs that depression and isolation remain constant themes, partly because those feelings are never entirely left on paper (or weblog entry forms). Our main goal is to express ourselves, but we also selfishly need to consider our readers...you can't expect folks to constantly deal with self-depricating rants. It's about empathy and sometimes depressed writers need to demonstrate a level of empathy with the readers...you can't complain all your life and not expect to hear some in return. It's also that process where you stop feeling bad for yourself and start bringing yourself back into reality...e.g. with other people.

I guess this is where I interject a writing technique. I guess humor is what I recommend for Emily Dickinson wannabe's. Even though it might seem contradictory for depressed folks to infuse their entries with a funny joke, I think it's that aspect of reflective writing that requires us to look at ourselves with a less than serious countenance. If you can't make fun of yourself when you're down in the dumps, then you're in trouble when you finally need to talk to your psychiatrist. Moreover, you need to captivate your audience and have them know that you're more than just a rock laying under stormy clouds (you know that commercial). If you're not ready to listen to a guy complain about his rotten life for the next few months, then be empathetic and give us a few breaths of fresh air. Go get 'em, tiger!

Reflective writing

As a piece of technical advice for writers, reflective writing is a useful tool for folks to reexamine the past or just to collect some thoughts onto paper. I guess many folks on here are familiar with this whole process, particularly if you're into storytelling. Here are some good details to remember:

1.) Feelings: One of the best aspects of writing is empathasizing with the writer. A good writer is capable to evoking emotions through a recounting of an event and the readers can pick up on what the individual is feeling in that situation. Sometimes we're driven to do such a thing with sad stories, but it's most commonly done in embarassing circumstances. We can all relate to the times when we get caught with our pants down or when you spill your mocha latte on your beau...those relatable situations makes for good reflective writing.

2.) Euphemisms: Since you need your audience to relate to your experiences, an effective way to tell a story is by crafting language to be less than direct. Instead of blurting out an obscene or embarassing situation outright, euphemisms can be witty ways to soften up the harshness or bluntness of what actually happen. We're all familiar with euphemisms as a tool for humor and sarcasm...it's fun to say vagina without saying pussy...heh, you can decide which euphemism is best. Oh yeah, don't forget to go to the Urban Dictionary for the few that you didn't know about.

3.) Characters: Yeah, a man is not an island. Of course, a few good characters make for an interesting story...which means that you need to include the pertinent individuals who compliment your story. The best characters, of course, are the goofy folks called your family, who can provide more than enough materials to last you through your next therapy bill. I find that folks often times include characters that draw away from the story, especially when you go off in a tangent. However, it's the dialogue that comes from interactions with characters that make for poignant details in a story. 

Heh, know combine them with a few euphemisms, mix in a bowl, bake for 20 minutes, and voila! Story time!

Style

Meh, I've decided to postpone some pieces that I promised as follow-ups to the recent discussions. Since receiving a string of e-mails from interested writers, I decided to post a few updates on the project and also some helpful tips for submitting pieces. As a strict editor, I'm closing submissions by the third week in August, which gives folks more than ample time to find, write, or revise a piece. If you are planning to submit something, read this list carefully and e-mail me your submission. Also, leave comments or requests here if you have any.

Theme: The title of the first issue is "The beginning: where are you?" Even though there's no official theme, I'm hoping that submissions will generally involve writers and their preliminary experiences in discussing sexuality with others. Of course, that group is widely defined...friends, families, significant others...whomever you wish to cast in your story. I preface it with "preliminary" since I know not everyone is out (entirely) nor have opportunities to discuss the subject comfortably. A good example of what I'm looking for can be seen in Albert's discussion about being gay to a female student.

Scratch: If you haven't written anything (meaning your Xanga is empty or relatively new), writing something totally new will be your first task. I wouldn't advise anyone who's already got a bunch of material to go this route as I am not looking for folks to specifically write stuff to fit the theme or title of the premier issue. If you do need to write a new piece, I would suggest for folks to look at Albert's piece for some key stylistic techniques that I find quite effective in storytelling. Namely, I felt Albert has a solid grasp of first-person reflective perspective, which basically means he can retell what happened to him in a day. For the most part, many Xanga folks should be familiar with this skill. Topic-wise, be truthful to what you're writing about...I'm looking for non-fictional pieces, give or take a few hyperboles.

Overall, I'm looking for seven working submissions. There will opportunity for folks to revise their pieces upon notification of acceptance. Of course, no one will be turned away...it's all about working pieces until they are suitable. Send away!

Rampage

In deciding to postpone today's regular entry, I thought I'd answer David's (constructive) cricitism about double standards of white people using images of Asians as opposed to Asians and Pacific Islanders doing the same. Following in the footsteps of curious joes, such as Luke, let's break it down!