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Damnit. Having no DSL for this long has taken it toll on me, not everything bad but……

1.) 7 dollars for 1 hour at an internet cafe for a month is adding up quite quickly. I have since become a master of short quick messages to friends on chat.

2.) My room is immaculate. The Virgo side is me is coming out full power.

3.) I read A LOT. Damn me for being a super speed reader.

4.) I am running and working out for longer periods of time, just so I won’t have to get back home early.

5.) I miss downloading music. I know illegal but dance version of songs I like are hard to find.

I miss my DSL. But I will have it back next week. I hope.

I’m outz,

CHris

Continual:

This past weekend kind of started early for me with some quality time with Hiromi with a fabulous dinner at First Crush. This was our time to just touch bases and talking about everything about what going on life. Hiromi has since become an inner circle of friends that I cherish since that day she came to my birthday dinner almost a year ago at Juban’s. That is when she slowly stop being a friend of Raven and Mona’s to being my friend and a dear one at that. I can always relied on her advice and guidance when I needed it the most. After dinner we crash a guy’s night out with John and Troy to head over to the Cat Club with they played 80’s music. The 80’s was not one of my favorite decades and probably the only good thing that came out good from there is the Goonies, one of my favorite movies. It was never the less and it was quite an interesting time to see everyone in a different element.

New and Renewal:

Friday was spent meeting with a new friend’s K and his friends out at a bar where I kept on running so many people of my friend’s who I haven’t seen in a while. It was a series of mini reunions and playing catch up with them. It was also quite interesting when you see your good friend (who will eventually going to become my future roommate) go-go dancing at the bar and then have the audicity to ask me to tip him hahaha. I think I am the only guy in his life that doesn’t have an ulterior motive with his friendship.

Lasting:

Saturday was started with taking my sister out with my brother and mom for an impromptu baby shower shopping for the baby due later next month. It was quite fun shopping with my family on various things for the baby, we endup with a new coat, blanket, baby first aid kit, sling and doll for the baby.

Conditional and New:

It was also the weekend that my Mah Jong buddies called me to play Mah Jong with them. Apparently a lot of each other have been out of town and working too much to keep basic contact with each other, only when my friend came back from Hong Kong that we all met up again. He is basically the glue of the group. If he isn’t there we would not be contact with each other. Sad really but that is how the group works. We all again met up to go out clubbing at Mezzanine and had a total blast, meeting with new people and enjoying the music.

Sunday came pretty mellow and laid back for me. Mostly house cleaned and meeting up with K again for a very late lunch and a special tour of hidden spots of North Beach. Quite relaxing and laid back, how I love those lazy Sundays.

This week I will have to get ready for the upcoming half marathon and resuming my work out. I was on a 2.5 week hiatus. Bad me.

I’m outz,

CHris

as a New Business Assistant. The only question is if I am going to take the position and how much they are offering for the position. I can see how much I can make. The supervisor is great and I like what the department is about. So I will most likely take the position.

Will keep you posted on that.

I’m outz,

CHris

Funny how much you learn about your friends when you go on a trip together. My trip has been so much fun and full of the destressing I needed to do to become more focus for the upcoming weeks. I saw mostly all the people I wanted to see and will blog in detail more of the events tomorrow but I am just relaxing the rest of this day away…..

As well as putting away those 7 shirts I bought from Mexx puahahhahaha.

I’m outz,

CHris

Sometimes I wonder why I bother dating sometimes.

These days I go in with realistic views and go with the flow attitude and really not focusing on trying finding “The One” , friends tell me that I would be a catch and to continue dating but in all actuality. I feel that I am happier by myself these days and with the friends I have in my life. They are my rock and my sanity just as I am with them. Gay dating isn’t that easy. I have to contend with a smaller dating pool and where everyone pratically knows everyone else. Mostly with a 2 degree of seperation. These days with me dating, I tend to be more guarded. When I let down my guard and yet being emotionally available for them, they disappear. I try not to be jaded but it is hard since I tend to have a very optimistic view in life with now the exception of dating.

Hiromi these days have seem to gotten a great guy in her life. I am really happy for her but I can’t help but to have of a bit of jealousy. But thank god that thought passes very quickly away from my thoughts. On the other end, C call me a few days ago and ask me to spend the night with him in a hotel near the airport. I quickly rejected that idea due to the fact I am not going to become his “stand by booty call”. He wants me only when HE is emotionally available, I can’t have that. I am just being happier being by myself and continuing doing the things I do.

I’m outz,

CHris

36 hours of NO sleep. I totally crashed last night but it was totally well worth it. When I see that lovely paycheck tomorrow, it was going to be worth all the bitchiness, the meaness, losing my check card, the delayed and canceled flights, making it to the courts and getting the briefs file with 15 minutes to spare, the zombie like state, the whininess of people, no food in my stomach for 12 hours, the games I play on the cell phone waiting for the planes and the stress of the whole ordeal.

Come tomorrow, when I get the nice fat check in my hand and the joys of seeing it enter into my account.

Who says money doesn’t make the world go round.

I’m outz,

CHris

So here I am today another lost weekend upon me. Yesterday I work from 10:45am to 10:15pm. Had to flake out on TWO parties. Today I am in at 9:15am and probably going to be here for the next 15 hours or so. I have work overtime every single day this past week, I end up zonking out when I get home at night. I haven’t work out or ran last week and my marathon is in 16 days, the only solace I have is my hip hop class.

Tomorrow I have to wake up at 5:15am to get to work, so I can get the documents we been working on this past week and fly down to LA and deliver these briefs to the attorneys over there to make by 10am and fly back in time for lunch. All on the company of course. You don’t want to know the cost of these tickets. Let just say it is expensive……very…… But the end results is great. I have about 20 hours of overtime and at least 8 hours of double time. So my nice fat check will be coming next Wednesday, just in time for my trip to Vancouver! YAY!

I didn’t get the position I wanted in the firm because I was a bit junior but I am trying out for another position on Monday after I finish delivering the documents to LA. But the downside is that I will be making less than what I am making now. I really going to consider all the factors in this decision providing that I get it.

Edit: 15 hours my @$$ , it 1:30am and I probably am pulling an all nighter. I’m cranky and bitchy. The team is the same way. After I get on that plane to LA. The attorneys get to go home. Bah. But these attorneys are all cool. The sweet thing is I get my OT I did from last week on this Wedsenday check hehehe.

Well back to work I go!

I’m outz,

CHris

M and I had another fun time together last night. We went ot catch a movie together and had dinner together as well as going to one of the bars later on that night. It was a great time to just getting to know each other and enjoying each other company. But as the night ended, he told me we should slow things down (which I agree) and he needed to sort out his feelings for me. That is fine with me as there is no rush to things. We just recently met and it better for us to slow things down anyways. But we will keep in contact with each other and I like that.

Edit: I think is songs fits me at the moment.

Ciara - Next To You.

I hope I don’t make you mad, with what I’m about to say boy
Here we are once again, and I’m havin second thoughts boy
I’m not messin with your head, but I changed my mind boy
I don’t know why I’m here, the same time I want you near

If you want me to leave, I will understand
See I will just have to respect your wishes boy
Cus if I stay aint no tellin what may happened boy
Although you look so good to me, its best that I leave

I’m scared of bein next to you, cus of what I think I might do
Boy you turn me on right now, I can’t get down like that right now
I don’t want to disturb the flow this is not my M-O, Hold up,
wait a minute, we’re movin way too fast
I want some like this here to last.

Well I guess I’ll stay for a minute, then I have to go boy
This moment is so temptin, right now it’s not what I want
boy
Maybe if we just embrace, with a simple kiss boy
But that’ll only make things worse, hope I’m not getting on your nerves boy

I just wanted to be right for the both of us
You don’t have to say a thing to make me comfortable
Boy, you make me so weak when you look at me
Right now I’m a little confused, I think its best that I
refuse

We pose to be playin cards or watching a movie
We keep lockin eyes boy, now why you tryin to tease me
This room is gettin heated; want you open up a window
I think that I should go now, cus I can’t take this no more.

Well going for my run later with Doro and relax and watch the fireworks.

I’m outz,

CHris

Hey Cuzs,

This is your cousin here. This is probably the hardest entry I will have to write so bear with me.

So I guess after 3 and a half years of me blogging online, you guys finally found my sanctuary online and now you know our secret of many years now. It not that we never wanted to tell you, it was out of respect for Mom and Dad. This blog serves as outlet to gather my thoughts and feelings together and also serves as a way to stay in touch with many my friends, to date I have not yet lost one of my friends because of who I am. All of them are still very good and close friends. A lot of them have been there for me when I had to deal with me coming out to Mom and Dad. That year, was one of the toughest and hardest year that I have dealt with in my life, first was losing Grace who was by the way my closest friend who pretended to be my girlfriend to help me and second dealing with the aftermath of telling Mom and Dad of the truth of me because of the burden of not telling the truth to them. Now today, I am way more happier these days, we don’t need to hide anything from them anymore and we are closer, everything is finally moving towards a future and I will always do my best to help out Mom and Dad. That will never change.

I knew that this day will come honestly, but now it more of a sense of relief that it is out. I wish we could have told you earlier about this but it is really hard to when there is so much expectations and pressure to be something that we are not. I hope you know that it is not a choice for me and bro and please don’t blame Mom and Dad, it is something we don’t have control over with. If there is someway of making us “straight", we would. But we have to live with this fact that we are who we are. It not that we wanted to lie to you either. Please put yourself in our situation and understand that it is a very hard thing to do. Mom and Dad have done their best to accept. They know we don’t flaunt it nor make a scene of who we are. We both will do our best to talk and helping you guys understand who we are. You know how to reach us. Please don’t burden Mom and Dad any further. They have enough stress already. It is best to get the information and the talk through us. I would really apperiate it.

Love your cousin,

CHris

Update: False alarm My mom gave me a scare this morning. But I am still going to keep this entry up, just to serve as a reminder that this journal would most likely be discover in the future by my relatives. For right now, they won’t.

So my date with M went really well. He came by my place to pick me up. At first I was a bit apprehensive of having this date with him. The pictures that was available didn’t give me a good sense of who he was. But I found talking to him that there was a definate connection between both of us. Then getting into the car. I was quite relieve and happy that he look much better in person than in his picture. The first thing that got me was his blue eyes. He had such amazing blue eyes. But the best thing was there was definately a good connection between us. It came very early when we went to the Ferry Building to walk around and see what was there but there wasn’t none. So we decided to head over to the restaurant and hang out there. But then as we walk back to the car, we found out the car was going to be TOW if we didn’t get back in time. That would have been 3 strikes on my end!!! LOL Forunately, that didn’t happen.

We went to his reccomendation of this new Italian restaurant in SoMa and we were able to secured some seating at the bar. We started talking about our families and past loves and generally found him to be very engaging and easy to talk to. Dinner past quickly and we were heading back to the car. So he put his arms around my shoulder and a sense of good vibes came enveloped within. I really felt comfortable with this guy and sincerely do want to get to know him better. As he escorted me across the street and back into the car, I decided to make my intentions known about him. So once he got in. I gave him a kiss and he was glad that I was being assertive in what I wanted. We decided to spend a bit at a park near where I live and uhm……we made out some more. *blush* The chemistry is there and I am just wishing to get deeper to knowing this guy.

M and I are planning to go out again for dinner, movie and drinks tomorrow. I am looking forward to it and learning more about this guy. I am being hopeful and so far he is impressing me. I can only hope and learn at the moment.

To Hiromi You’re forgiven for not checking up to me. Glad you are alright!

I’m outz,

CHris