Akuma's Inner Turmoils v. 8.00: Rebirth

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11/29/2004

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The Dream of A Father [
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General] — Akuma @
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9:25 pm

My father finally got his wish fufilled…..partially that is.

His dream was to cut out album of him singing out his favorites songs for the public to enjoy.

My father has an excellent voice and when people hear him sing. They all said that he has a very powerful and soulful voice. But alas, the talent of singing was not past down to any of his male children. I am good in dancing, my brother in artwork and my sister is the closest one with the good voice in the group.

Many years ago, My father was a lounge singer who met a farmer’s daughter in Ipoh, Malaysia, he basically wooed her with his singing and fell in love and got married. The dream of an album to be produce was put in the back burner. 27 years later, at 64, my father decided to do the album albiet a personal one for himself to let him fufil that dream that never gotten achieve. It all done courtesy to my cousin and his gadjets and now wondering what he is going to do with it now. I know right now what scarfices he gave up for him to come here for a better future for us.

That is something I was thankful for this past Thanksgiving.

I’m outz,

CHris

Comments (117)

11/25/2004

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To Renew, To Remember, To Be Forgotten [
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Family and Friends] — Akuma @
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12:30 pm

This past 7 days given me to do a lot of thinking on the dynamics of friendship that comes along in my life. Which I will break down into 3 catergories for this entry:

To Renew: I have renewed a freindship from high school friend I have lost contacts many years ago when he transfered school. We been hanging out lately finding out how life been treating us. Both of us are looking for work but it is nice that I have someone who I can hang out during the day and drag me out of the house to get some sunshine.

To Remember: I haven’t forgotten the promise I made to my pal Doro and not let my friends feel that I given them up. So yesterday, I went out with a dear excoworker, now friend for lunch to catch up with the news of the firm. Turns out that the firm hasn’t been quite the same with all those people leaving. People there have kept to themselves now and there is a more somber mood to the place. She doesn’t know how long she will stay there but we made plans to see each other more often once her cases isn’t so crazy.

To Be Forgotten: My old high school friend and I hanging out found out that the person who help us renewed our friendship turn out to have betray his friendship for something he didnt do and also been stealing from him. I knew this “friend” was going downhill but to do that to someone is unforgiveable. I won’t go into details of the specifics of what happen due to my promise and my word to not say much. But I am making a clean break from this “friend”.

Before I go, Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Instead of Turkey, we will be having shark’s fin soup and curry chicken over at my aunt’s place.

I’m outz,

CHris

Comments (95)

11/21/2004

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中文 Entry - Chinese Entry/Happy Birthday RBJ [
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General] — Akuma @
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3:50 pm

(Turn On Chinese Fonts)

我想練習寫一點點中文在我的日記。我現在有NJ Star. 所以我很開心可以打出來。
I am practicing a bit of my chinese on my jounral. I currently have NJStar. So I am very happy that I can type it out.

Funny after years of bickering from my parents to get our education in Chinese. We use to whine and moan about how boring it was and how useless it is in the future. Hate it when my parents were right about these things. My Chinese have save me in many situations and also knowing how to read and write it makes it all the better in my life. Being the only one in my group to completely understand the menu and getting the services that Chinese speakers get makes all the difference in the world. It quite sad that America tends to focus on only one languages while there is such a huge melting pot of cultures in this nation. People forget that and even worse fear learning something new.

By the way. Happy Birthday Ricebowljournals. 4 years old and I been with them for 3 of them. My life have been filled with the knowledge of a community who genuninely cares about each other and even though a lot of us are miles apart. The sense of community is very evident. No other community has what we have and very thankful of all the friends I made.

I’m outz,

CHris

Comments (12)

11/18/2004

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Sometimes Real Best Freinds Know [
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General] — Akuma @
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8:49 pm

Doro knows me so well. One of my best freind took me out to give me her souveniors she bought for me while she was in New York City and one look at me, she knew something was wrong. She noticed that I am way more mellow than usual and looks more paler and maybe lost some weight. Maybe I have but I don’t take notice these things. Both of us talk about our job search and our goals for the new years. Both of us are resolved in taking the upcoming tests to improve our future and get out of that mundane funk hahaha. Sometimes it best when you have someone you can do this with. : D

I’m outz,

CHris

Comments (100)

11/12/2004

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Photo Friday: Family [
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Photo Friday] — Akuma @
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7:52 pm

This week theme is Family. Courtesy of Photo Friday:

Lil Bro 23, Me 26, Lil Sis 18.
Mom and Dad at my cousin’s wedding two months ago. One of those rare family picture ops.

Comments (117)

11/11/2004

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In Memory of Iris Chang [
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General] — Akuma @
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5:35 pm

Iris Chang, a best-selling author who chronicled the Japanese occupation of China and the history of Chinese immigrants in the United States, was found dead in her car of a self-inflicted gunshot, authorities said Wednesday. She was 36.

I been asked by Yellowworld to write about her. This is what I am going submit:

Iris Chang was one of those rare gifted writers who can paint a scene of past historical events to a generation who is trying to rediscovered their roots or just simply to learn more in depth of what the Chinese people have gone through in history. Two of her books : The Rape of Nanking and The Chinese in America dealt with two specifics points of history that tend to be overlooked.

In the international bestsellerThe Rape of Nanking The book deals with atrocities of what the Chinese endure and went through when the Japanese invaded China in the 1930s, Chang vividly can weave the images into our minds on what the Japanese imperial soldiers did in the name of the Emperor and their nation. Chang also can evoked such emotions with her writing that you can feelt actually being placed into that era witnessing those events as if you were there. In these modern times, even with all the witness and survivors accounts, asking a Japanese person of those events will either resulting of lack of knowledge of the subject or rejection of the incident ever happening; asking a Chinese person the same incident will result in such fury and anger to general disdain of the subject. Chang left us one of the best reference accounts to the Rape of Nanking, giving the modern Chinese generation as well of the rest of the world a point of history that rivals the Nazis’ concentration camps during World War II.

The Chinese in America gives us a uniquely interesting point of view of Chinese in American history. Most textbooks and books will hardly go into such details that Chang written about the Chinese and Asian American. Giving us accounts of what early Chinese American have endured in terms of racism in the 19th and early 20th centuries as well as championing various accomplishments and truimphs to what our Chinese forefathers have set for us, many of which is taken forgranted by the younger generations today. Chang writes this book in such a way that keeps the readers engaged while on the other hand filling in the empty spots on history that we haven’t learned about.

I am sadden by her sudden tragic passing but yet wanting to leave her my thanks and gratitude for this author. Chang left me impacted on how much I have taken forgranted living here in the United States and striving myself to try passing our history down to future generations; making sure that future generations realized how much scarafices have been made to get us the same rights that we now often take forgranted. Chang opened up my eyes to the realities of societies and their past. I hope for those who haven’t had a chance to read her books yet. I encourage you to picked up her books and see how Chang have contributed to my understandings on how history should leave an impact on you: with you striving to learning more.

Comments (103)

11/10/2004

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Being Spontaneous and Taking A Blame [
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General] — Akuma @
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6:18 pm

So my friend M and I were talking on MSN messenger with him raving about a cute asian guy that I should meet at this bar…..at 11:30pm at night. His friend was going to pick up at 11:15pm. And I was already in my PJs already. He accuse me of not being spontantenous and potentially meeting the guy of my dreams. So I said fine I would go and changed amd I did do just that and went out. Unforunately when I met the guy. He wasn’t my type but I am always up to making new friends. So he bought us drinks and by the second drink my dear friend M was plan ol’ drunk while he was being adamant of being only “buzzed”. He kept dancing with various guys and kept on pushing me and his friend together to dance body to body which I didn’t care for. Finally it was his time to get all horny on us and tries to pick up on one of the guys he like. Me being the ever good babysitter decides to haul him out before he makes a total fool of himself. The next day we talk on MSN to recap on what happens: I didn’t paint a pretty picture for him and now he’s all embrasses. Lessoned of the day? It not good to be messy drunk on a Monday night.

Today my mom ask me to tell a lied and take a blame on a miscommuncation of what happen between me and my cousin from Malaysia. My mom and been on the gossipy and foul mood over various conversations that happen that she didn’t get the whole story to and I am being forced to fabricate an incident that never happen. There is too many people involved and she fails to understand my point of view. I really hate when that happens.

*sigh*

I’m outz,

CHris

Comments Off

11/5/2004

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Photo Friday: Radiant [
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Photo Friday] — Akuma @
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7:22 pm

This week theme is Radiant. Courtesy of Photo Friday:

This shot was taken on the amtrak train en route to Sacremento. It gave me this great below the bridge view at sunset. It was such a nice shot.

Comments Off

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750+ Spam Comments Deleted [
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General] — Akuma @
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6:51 am

That the amount of SPAM comments I deleted from top@tredgf.com, lilo@suddenenlightenment.us
and the poker spams for the past two days. I was NOT a happy camper. I cleared them out and closed off the comments section except for the two most current entries. Minus well at give you guys the IP addies for you guys to start blocking off before they get you guys.

61.221.119.242
62.17.22.10
200.39.200.132
80.183.142.98
68.47.223.92
202.74.207.139
65.123.150.16
24.232.170.76

I am going to be one step ahead of them from now on.

I’m outz,

CHris

Comments (10)

11/3/2004

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Updates [
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General] — Akuma @
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10:37 pm

I know I been missing but all within good reason. Packed weekends with friends in town has considerably drained my time to blog and refocusing my energy to more active things. Besides, when I was in my depression mood. I was staring at the computer screen way too much. It was my chance to get some fresh air which I have been doing as of lates.

But here are some updates:

- I visited T in Sacremento. The visit with him made me get to know him better but unforunately what I learned about him made me reaccessed him on the type of person he was. We did spend some time talking but I don’t think his friends care too much about a non Vietnamese guy for him. They constantly spoke Viet around me and unlike my friends who all of us will translate what we say back into English for the non native speakers. They don’t and I felt like an outsider for the duration of the visit. There are other factors as well but that was one major point that made me think twice on pursuing a relationship with T. He’s a great guy but I don’t think he’s right for me. But my ride up there was spectacular. Some of those pics can be found over here.

- My sister turn 18 this last weekend. Funny to think that my sister now a full feldge adult. I remember holding her in my arms when she was born. Now she a strong sassy short tempered young lady who can stand her own ground. Funny how time flies without you noticing it.

- I did vote today. No way in hell will I would have not voted. Voting is important to me even though people say their vote won’t count. People have die to get what we take forgranted. Terrrible.

- These are my friends Stefan and Christian. Both are guys from Austria. Stefan have recently relocated here and I am going to help him job hunt and see what is out there. Me and Stefan talk pretty easily and have some general grounds on the people that we are and I know some of you guys think Christian is really cute. But looks can be decieving and I won’t be giving in to a cute face that easisly. I seen first hand on his charm and forunately for me. His charm will (and have) be wasted on me and for you guys with perverted minds: No we are NOT EVER going to sleep together. Just going to clarify that.

- I feel lucky this month. Don’t know why but I feel that Lady Luck is finally on my side.

- I been forced to closed all my comments to my current entries only because now they found a way to spam using my own IP address and deleting them has been a pain in the butt. ARRGGGH.

It 3am and I am going to end it here for now.

See you guys later!

I’m outz,

CHris

Comments (2)