This week theme is Natural: Courtesy of Photo Friday:
This pic was taken a while back on my trip up Northern California. This is off Point Reyes. I thinks but I remember how lovely it was.
I’m outz,
CHris
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4/30/2004
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Photo Friday: Natural
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4/29/2004
Rarely do I indulge my self in footwear. Mainly becuase I don’t see the point of having a few dozen shoes. I like to have a few basics for everyday wear. But this week I gotten not ONE but TWO pairs of new shoes. One pair was my tango shoes that my friend Rose got for me in Argentina. I was so touched that she got me a pair and now I have the proper dance shoes for my tango now.
Secondly my Nike running shoes that I design is also here. I adore it too!!! It is fit me all nice and snuggly. Now I feel like the top of the world now.
I’m outz,
CHris
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4/27/2004
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X Rated Nostalgia
While walking home on this hot night. I saw an old neighbor who use to live next door visiting his brother who occupied his old living space. Seeing him and the weather where this story came from.
One night on the Fourth of July about 4 years back, it was almost 9pm where my brother and sister would make our yearly trek up to the top of the roof to wait to see the fireworks because we have a clear view of the bay from where we live and from the bay they would set off the fireworks weather from afar. While we were idling the time away about talking about the unbearable here. We saw our neighbor out of the his window……BUCK NAKED….. All three of us saw it and my brother and I instictly covered our poor stunned sister’s eyes. My poor sister never seen a naked person till we saw our neighbor. My brother and I quickly averted our gazes from him but we both notice for a BIG “football” guy….he has a tiny “package” LOL. Whoever says Big things come with small packages is absolutely correct. We never have look at our old neighbor the same ever since.
I’m outz,
CHris
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4/25/2004
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I Met My Brother Boyfriend
My brother suddenly brought back C to meet me today.
(I met my brother’s boyfriend….)
The uneasiness was very evident….they been together for almost two years and this is our first meeting.
(So this is C..my brother’s boyfriend…)
He seems to be to be a very easy going…
(My brother’s boyfriend…)
Very normal looking..
(The guy he been hiding from me for almost two years….)
We talk a lot of various topics that were safe…
(Very smart, shorter than I thought he will be….)
My mom is acting strangely very normal.
(I finally meet with C)
The final connection of my brother’s life is now complete…
(I met my brother’s boyfriend…)
and I am smiling inside for my brother.
I’m outz,
CHris
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4/23/2004
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Photo Friday: Junk
This week theme is Self Portrait: Courtesy of Photo Friday:
I don’t remember where I took this shot. But I thought it was a bunch of junk. You guys figure it out.
I’m outz,
CHris
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Quiet Streets
Sometimes life just needs to slow down just a bit for you to realize its infinate beauty, even in the urban streets and even especially so like the streets in Chinatown, America’s second most densely populated district.
Last night while walking home after dinner with my friend Eldam and his friend in Chinatown. The streets I was walking on was deserted. For 3 blocks, for 2 minutes there was no people along the streets, no cars that zoomed by, no yelling, no talking, just pure silence on the main merchant street I was walking; no buses passing by, no old ladies yelling, no drunkard yelling profanity. A gentle breeze picked up a bit of speed and you just stand still, looking into the clear dark sky and
just smile for life just picked the right moment just to remind you, that you a lot to live for.
I’m outz,
CHris
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4/20/2004
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Gay AND Asian
The Details Magazine published this picture in last month’s column to descibe highly fashionable asian males and trying to compared and contrast the similarities because gay males and asian males.
But where does that article leave me? “The gay asian male?”
I stay relatively quiet on this issue because I was thinking about forumulating an intelligent response to this. I now blog this only because I wanted to make this come from my preceptive on this issue.
My thoughts is this:
When I saw it, I was deeply offended by this article. People like this who “claimed” to know to about us should not be in jesting about a subculture that they don’t even know about. But yet when I see this as a “rebuttal” to that column. We are just as bad as columnist who started it in the first place. For this reverse prejudice to show them up is not the ultimate answer I want to see happen. If you found humour in the second column then you are just as guilty if you were angry with the first column.
I wonder if these people have actually walk in our shoes before. We as gay asian have yet have a solid voice yet. Organizations like Gay Asian Pacific Alliance and Noodle Magazine is our voices within the community, but a lot of us, like myself choose not to “come out” and participate in groups like GAPA. Why? My reason is because out of the respect of my parents to not be active in the gay community. Being filial is something a lot of Americans don’t really understand but I understand that totally and it is being filial is my being of who I am. I know a lot of us are in that predicament and struggling to find that balance of who we are. This will be a life struggle for we being gay asian male will forever be in the minority.
Yet I still have a voice through this blog on my thoughts and feelings on issues and I rather reach out to my readers who know me than going onto television and making a big bruhaha over it. A lot of you also know I am active in the Asian community. My voice for that group continues to grow stronger. I stand proudly in all I belong in. Being a gay Malaysian Chinese male is something to promote myself on. For that makes me unique, for I choose to not hide in the shadows in shame…this is who I am. Accept it or move on. For I got no pity on those who choose to live in the ignorance and the hate. Only sadness for those people, altough those thoughts will only be lingering thoughts. Why waste my time and energy to focus on such thoughts?
I hope it gives you some sort of insights in this.
Sterotypes and prejudice have to stop with us.
I’m outz,
CHris
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4/16/2004
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Photo Friday: Self Portrait
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4/15/2004
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Forever Me Father For I Have Sinned....
Forgive me father for I have sinned. I am probably doing the most gayest thing I will ever do in my life……..
I am going to a Madonna’s concert on June 8th with my buddy Siri. I made a pact to go with Siri way back because she always wanted to go see it and she wanted me to go with her, so I promised her to go. A month ago I found out that she is coming and she was so estactic!!! I was so glad to make her happy and we are fufilling a buddy pact together.
So you are going to hear about this one more time from this blog. When I report back from it.
I’m outz,
CHris
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4/14/2004
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Heather Fong
Heather Fong to be name San Francisco’s First Female Police Chief and the second Asian in the post. She is also bilingual in Cantonese who has grown up in my neighborhood.
This is someone who I would call my first role model. She came to my elementary school when I was 8 and gave us lessons about smoking and general safety issues. To see a female Asian police sergeant left me an lasting impession about how much I can achieve and to see her 17 years later rising up the ranks and to get where she is , took a lot of hard work and not giving up on your dreams and overcoming adversities and general stigmas. I have much revere respect for this woman for she was one of my very first role model in life. May she succeed in her goals in her new position for I will be rooting for her on her tenure.
I’m outz,
CHris
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4/12/2004
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Modeling / Date
My sister and I did some modeling for Mona for her final project. It was so much fun though my poor sister had to suffer with her tango dress on. But we took some pics in some fun sites near where we live. Thanks for my sister for being a good sport. Try looking romantic to your own lil sis. LOL.
Some of you are wondering how my date went. It went quite well and we are having another date really soon. He is highly intelligent and very funny but also very introspective about life. He got my attention there with those 3 qualities. I hope he is interested in me as well. I do like him and can’t wait to know him better. I know pictures of him. Later. Got to keep you wondering.
Work is finally slowing down for us and it is not as hectic as it use to be and that is a good thing. Hopefully my life won’t be that mundane and will liven up really soon.
Well that’s it for right now.
I’m outz,
CHris
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4/9/2004
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Photo Friday - Discovery
This week theme is Discovery: Ccourtesy of Photo Friday:
A little kid’s discovery he and his dad marching down the middle of the street in a protest march.
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4/8/2004
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All Asian Look Alike
Okay I do have a slightly funny story today. You know the saying how all of us look alike. Well my office manager manage to get my co worker and I totally reverse today. Let me describe my coworker A to you. A is a early 40’s 5′5 Filipino Hawaiian man and you guys know how I look like.
Scenario:
Lunchroom
My coworker W and I are eating in the lunch room.
[Chatting away]
(Office manager walks in}
OM: A. You know that those files were to do for so and so………
(realize that the asian guy wasn’t A}
(makes quick recovery}
Oh Chris you know you will be in charge of the handling the file move for the war room right?
Me: Yes I know, I was just waiting on order from so and so to move those files.)
Coworker W: (trying hard not to laugh)
OM makes quick exit.
Both of us snickers…..
Okay I know we goof us once in a while we were in a hurry but imagine trying to keep a straight face to not to laugh.
W had to bring up with the “Geez, you asians all look alike.)
poo.
====================
Jury duty was painless . I realize some of you guys don’t know what jury duty is. US government requires trials by their peers. So we are chosen at random to serve if you are a US citizen. It was nice to get away for a bit and have some time to myself on a weekday. Since I am saving all my vacation time at the moment for next year trip. I have no holidays for myself except for public ones. Small scarifice but one that I wanted to do.
=====================
I also play mahjong with my buddies last night with one small note. I kept on getting the top combinations to win. Everyone was shocked that I was winning because I was usually the loser, it was nice to finally win for once. Yay~~~!!!
I’m outz,
CHris
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4/6/2004
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I Keep Rolling and Rolling Along....
I guess my life as a full fledge single gay male adult is finally in full swing. Packed workdays, active weekends and chugging along with life is the current trend of what is happening to me as of lates. Trying to be offline a little bit more as usual.
My sister recently got into a huge fight with her boyfriend and also confided in me that she been crying EVERYDAY for the last week and feeling lonely and alone. Me being the big brother is contributing that as being stress over college or the seniors blue. But I know there is something more to it than she is revealing. Her case is not unusual and she ask me if she needs to see a psychologist about it. I told her to hold off for just a little while longer and see if she going to be okay. I hope I will be able to help her through this self development. I know I been though that period of that feeling and it is not the best feeling in the world. Can’t have the ups without the downs and I am helping my sister by being there and making sure that she has my undivided attention. Maybe my readers can give me some additional advice. Because Ireally need it now.
Saturday was also the time I went clubbing. My friend introduced me to another guy and we click. There was another friend of mines that I have dated briefly and said he was itnerested in me. I was going to give him another chance….till I saw him with another guy. So I have move on. *sigh* But the good news is that the other guy “F” and I are going to touch base and have a dinner date this week. Wow….. when was the last time I was on a date?!?!?!
And one more thing… going to give you a little secret. I made out with more than ONE guy that night. No I am not a ho, but damn those were HOT guys. Wouldn’t you if given the oppuntunity to kiss more than one hot guy. HELL YEAH!
I’m outz,
CHris
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4/3/2004
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Atmosphere
This week theme is Atmosphere courtesy of Photo Friday:
Atmosphere of my favorite cafe in North Beach here in San Francisco.
